I recently treated myself to my first pair of light blue ripped jeans. While this may not seem like a big deal, it was a significant moment for me. Like many teenagers, I struggled with body image issues and spent my teens strongly disliking the way my legs looked. I thought they were too big and I always wanted them to look slimmer and more like the legs of the famous actresses I saw in the media. Comparing my legs to those around me took up a lot of my time and I took extreme caution to make sure I could make them look as small as possible. To prevent my thighs from spreading out, I would sit on the edge of chairs and I would only wear dark pants because I had read that darker pants were more slimming. I never wore ripped jeans because I thought they would accentuate my legs and make them look bigger. Over the years, I spent so much energy, time, and tears worrying about what I looked like and thinking that others constantly judged my legs.
Fast forward to my twenties and the acceptance of my legs has become so much better. In fact, I have even grown to appreciate and love them. This took a lot of work and time though. First, I realized that I am 21 years old and this is my body forever. Not enjoying the way you look is too exhausting to constantly keep up with. Over time, I grew to first accept the way I looked and then learned how to love my body. Second, playing water polo really helped me accept my legs because playing the sport made me see them as strong and powerful instead of just big.
I also surrounded myself with supportive friends that offer continuous support for one another and bring out our confidence in each other. I realized that the people around you can have a large influence on your confidence; others can bring out the best or worst in you.
Confidence can be difficult to build up and maintain because it mainly comes from within. Just as I have grown to love the way my legs are, I have grown to be a happier person with more confidence. A few weeks ago, I decided that it was time to stop my ridiculous idea that I could never rock a pair of ripped jeans. So, I purchased a pair. It may seem mundane, but this was a really important moment where I felt happy to be me.
Wearing these jeans has taught me that I should not be afraid to wear certain clothes. This body is mine for my whole life, I may as well love it and treat myself with a new pair of light ripped jeans.