This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

Cute, swipe right. Not so cute, swipe left. This pretty much has become the main approach to modern dating. Not to say this is the way everyone treats dating, but for many, it’s the way it is. And who can blame them? Online dating is formatted so that our first impressions of a potential date is their appearance. A part of the online-dating-world myself, I usually know that someone has washboard abs before I know their passions or what they do for a living. This can make things awkward when you swipe right on studmuffin-Steve, come to find you haven’t the slightest thing in common. This is NOT to say that those we find attractive are inevitably incompatible with us on a deeper level, it’s just that when we automatically swipe left on those whom we may not *initially* find drop-dead gorgeous, you could be doing yourself a disservice in your search for love.

Obviously, if you’re only looking for hook-ups or one-night-stands, you may not care in the slightest about how studmuffin-Steve or bombshell-blonde-Brittany spend their Sunday mornings (more power to you!). However, for those of us looking for long term partners, or someone we can connect with on a deeper level, using attractiveness to dictate who you’ll give a shot or not could be limiting your options. So much so, that your compatibility with your matches may not be extending beyond mutual physical attraction.

couple seen holding hands through the window at a table with two glasses of wine on the table — bruce mars | Pexels

This is not to say that feeling attracted to a potential partner isn’t important. BUT, when you think back on all the ways you fell for your past partners or crushes — was it *really* because of their sharp jawline? Or was it the way they hung their hand over the steering wheel? Or the way their eyes lit up when they talked about their favorite book? Or how their confidence exuded off of them on their way to get their dream job? Or how kind they were to that waiter? It seems that too often, especially in the social media age, that people overestimate how much of their attractiveness to someone is based purely on the physical features of that person. Ever met someone with flawless skin and silky hair, only to find they have a nasty attitude or a god complex and aren’t so appealing after all? Cause same. Or have you ever met someone who you didn’t initially find attractive, but come to find they are incredibly intelligent and well spoken and comfortable in their own skin and you begin to see them differently? Cause, also, same.

couple hugging — Photo by Priscilla Du Preez from Unsplash

It seems that now-a-days someone’s looks are a requisite for getting to know them romantically. But in the long run, it’s not someone’s pretty face or stunning body that we are proud to be with: it’s their heart, their passion, their support, their encouragement, their strength, their character. It’s the person on the inside that we fall in love with. It is our deeper connection with someone that differentiates lust from love, admiration from infatuation. It may be with the very people that you least expect that you find that connection with, those that you may have swipe left on too quick to see they have the same favorite band or also study sociology or volunteer in their free time. Thus, maybe, just maybe, if you take a shot and look beyond looks, you *just* might be lucky enough to find lasting love that endures through the pretty, the ugly and everything in-between.

Looking for Love? Look beyond Looks in the World of Online Dating

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