As an introvert, I get pretty good with coming up with believable excuses as to why I can’t go to events. One of the most popular ones I’m guilty of over-utilizing is, “Aw, sorry, I’m busy that time!” In the rare occasions I’m lying (shout-out to social anxiety), I don’t even have to explain myself. College students all get it. There’s lectures, discussions, exams, papers, internships, work, volunteering, house chores, and somehow fitting in time to eat and sleep (on good days), let alone a social life. But when does “I’m busy” turn into something maladaptive to our own health and well-being?
Probably when you stop getting invited to things…or realize that when you do want to go out, everyone else is using the same excuse. Even worse, “I’m busy” can quickly get maladaptive when you only want to seem productive in comparison to others. A 2017 article from The Atlantic proposes that being busy is a status symbol for our generation…which is actually much closer to the truth than we’d like to admit. This article brings up a reminder that there was actually a time where acquiring success and wealth meant working less. However, these days being completely free and open with our time socially equates to being lazy. Our capitalistic American culture encourages us to utilize every second to do something productive, so we can turn into someone productive. As a result, becoming over-booked, stressed, and preoccupied is a symbol for success. The article states, “people who think that if you work hard, you can make it to the top seem to be more likely to think that the person who is busy is higher in status.” It’s no surprise that Americans pride themselves on hard work.
It’s widely-known and researched fact that this type of workaholic mindset can be extremely harmful to not only our social lives, but especially to our mental and physical health. Yet we can’t help but participate in and reinforce these ideas, perhaps even unconsciously, even at young ages when we’re supposed to be enjoying our youth. I vividly remember being stressed out in high school over college applications as a sophomore, highly encouraged by peers and counselors to participate in as much volunteering and extra-curricular activities I could get if I wanted to at least be considered for acceptance. Even now, as a college student in the quarter system, it’s worse. I’m constantly on edge, wondering what the next step is without giving myself time to even figure things out in the present. If you think about it, undergrad is mostly a cesspool of people trying to figure things out while pretending to have things figured out (although congrats to those who are actually sure of what they want).
Busy culture is not only detrimental to us, but also to the people around us. We fail to foster important relationships by constantly prioritizing other things that probably won’t matter in the long run or will most likely still be there after a possible hour-long meal with a friend. By choosing to turn down opportunities to connect, we essentially cut ties to what makes us human. We’re biologically programmed to be social creatures, and maybe that’s what has made us survive this long, yet our current culture promotes the opposite.
Although we can’t change an entire culture overnight, we can try to stop encouraging this mindset. We need to stop believing that being too busy equates to being successful. Maybe we can think of success as relative and subjective to each person. Relational success can have a higher value than personal success for some people, which could leave absolutely no room for being “too busy.”