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Many of us college students think long distance relationships don’t work. The truth is, LDR’s can succeed, but they demand hard work. More importantly, they demand a strong desire to be with that special someone regardless of distance. If you’re willing to put in the work and you genuinely care about your partner, there are a few things you can do to make the most of your long distance relationship.

Biweekly visits

Seeing someone  after some  time apart can be very exciting. However, if eleven weeks is too long of a wait, biweekly visits are the next best solution. One weekend, you can make the trip to see your partner. Two weekends later, your partner can come visit you. This way, you and your partner will only have to travel twice during the quarter.


Thanks to Skype and cell phones, your partner will never be completely absent from your life.  If possible, you and your partner should communicate at night. This will give you something to look forward to while you struggle to get through a boring lecture.  This will also allow you and your partner to discuss the highlights of each other’s day. If you ever feel like you have nothing to talk about, you can watch Netflix over the phone or play online games together.

Stay positive

Do not assume that your relationship will fail just because you don’t see your partner every day. You have to have a positive attitude. Otherwise, the relationship will just seem like a chore. Always keep in mind that college is temporary. You will be able to see each other more often after you graduate.

The tips mentioned above are important for helping to make sure a long distance remains stable. Another important aspect is how each partner treats each other, and for each partner to remember that just because they don’t see each other every day doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve the same amount of compassion and respect.

A good relationship, and especially a good long distance relationship, encourages both partners to be trusting of each other. There can be no accusations of cheating, lying, etc. Even if you have a huge fight in the beginning of the day, you should be willing to not go to bed angry, or wake up feeling angry or guilty. Skype is a very useful tool in this case and can even save a relationship if used wisely.

Despite whatever intense, and often temporary, feelings of hatred you may have for your partner, there is no need to say harmful and unnecessary things. A mature person is someone who can hold their tongue. As the old adage goes, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Sometimes it helps to sit quietly for a moment and list out the reasons you are with your partner. As college students we have busy lives, and trying to juggle a relationship can seem impossible. But does your partner leave you cute text messages? Do they always tell you they love you after you hang up the phone? Do they do funny things to make you smile? These are the things that should remind you of what being in a relationship is all about. Other important tips to remember, that are really important for long distance relationships, are to set goals, remain patient, and keep the lines of communication open.

Set relationship goals: In a long distance relationship it’s important for both you and your partner to set goals for what you want to achieve in your relationship. For example, after six months of dating, plan a little trip where you can meet up somewhere. Or after you graduate, you can plan on moving in with each other. Whatever your goals are, they will give you something to look forward to and can also help establish what both of you want from the relationship.

Remain patient and communicate issues

Every relationship has its obstacles. Long distance relationships include more than your average problems, which is why it is important to sometimes approach these issues differently than you would in a normal relationship. For example, if you are dissatisfied with how out of touch your partner is with you, consider other factors other than simply asking yourself, “Are they ignoring me?” In long distance relationships, it can be easy to forget that you and your partner may have different daily routines — whether it be varying school or work schedules.

Set a specific time to call each other and catch up on your day and stick to it! It seems obvious, but keeping a record of your partner’s school schedule, weekly meetings, and/or work schedules will allow you to know when and when not to contact them- without any hurt feelings!

It is likely that you and/or your partner may drop the ball on responding to texts or calls during busy times throughout the school year— which is completely understandable! Just be sure to address any communication issues openly and honestly as soon as they arise (but not through texting or instant messaging where there is too much room for misinterpretation). It is important to remind yourself and your partner that sometimes, life happens!

Varsha is currently a senior at UC Davis double majoring in Communication and Sociology. A Bay Area native, she relishes any opportunity to visit the beach and explore cities big and small. As an avid reader and writer, she hopes to utilize her passion for storytelling through a future career in PR. She is a self-proclaimed foodie and always enjoys a good cup of coffee. You can find her writing poems on the quad, reporting stories for AggieTV and daydreaming in the Arboretum, figuring out life as a 22 year old. 
Megan Taylor Hartenstein is an English major and Women's Studies minor at the University of California, Davis. Give her something to write with, and she'll create a masterpiece. While she loves journalism and writing short stories, her dream is to become a television or film writer. Megan is a proud feminist, and loves to incorporate feminist principles in everything she writes.       
Kylina is a fourth year English major at UC Davis. She has worked as a contracted editor and author for Book Buddy Digital Media Publishers. Her poems have been published in several magazines and anthologies. Next year she plans to continue her studies as a graduate student in the MA Creative Writing program at Oxford Brookes University.
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