Failure, at one point or another, is inevitable. Of course, this is obvious, but it took me awhile to accept it, and I still have a hard time embracing it. I think many of you can relate to the lessons our teachers reminded us day in and day out since elementary school that it is ok to fail, and that failure is a necessary part of the path towards success. But that message never really had any significance in my mind then. It was elementary school, where the biggest thing I had to stress about was an upcoming timed multiplication test. Back then, the potential failures had little or no impact on me or my future.
But over time, the stakes became exponentially higher. In high school, a good GPA was considered the golden key to get into college, and it was almost expected for everyone to hold some sort of leadership position in a club or extracurricular activity. Now in college, every decision, it seems, can either make or break your future. These unyielding stakes definitely instilled a fear of failing in me.
I found myself shying away from opportunities to apply for clubs I had interests in, due to the fear of being rejected or pulled out of my comfort zone. It came to a point where I would shut down an idea or opportunity prematurely because I was so afraid I would not be able to perform well, or simply fail. Perhaps it was the perfectionist in me that made me doubt my own abilities to handle challenges and face the inevitable of failing at something.
Because for me, when I fail, I find myself in a downhill spiral of negative thoughts and self-doubt. And it takes me awhile to turn around, get back up, and try again. In shielding myself from any kind of failure, not only did I become more sensitive to the let-downs I experienced, I later realized I was also shielding myself from the possibility of learning something new and halting any progress towards my goals.
Now when I find myself in a rut after failing, I look back at how far I have come as a person. I acknowledge that my experiences of failure were painful in that moment, but I also learned to appreciate how these failures are necessary in order to get one step closer to where I want to be. Seeing how much I’ve grown since entering college, there’s no way I can deny that the turmoil I have experienced definitely played a huge role in my growth.
So, when it feels like I’ll never be able to pull myself back up after failing at something, I remind myself that I know I have it in me to keep pushing forward because I’ve done it so many times before. Whether it be sooner or later, what matters most is that I keep going. And I know that future me will look back at this moment as a reminder that failure is normal and essential for growth and learning.