I Feel Disconnected From My Sorority

Over a year and a half ago, it was Bid Day. I was crying tears of joy because I had found my forever home away from home: my sorority. I was promising myself a lifetime of sisterhood, exciting adventures, and friends for life. For a while, that was exactly what I was getting. As a first-year in a sorority, I met so many new people and older girls who could be my mentor. Now, I sit in my bed and attend Zoom meetings for the chapter every week. I have not seen the sorority sisters that I used to almost every week in almost a year. How do you maintain a sisterhood in times like this? Is it possible to form meaningful relationships only virtually? Personally, I cannot form meaningful friendships through the phone, Zoom, or really anything other than in person. This being said, I’ve really struggled with still being a part of a sorority. It is hard to find the purpose of staying when every reason you’ve joined has been stripped from the experience.

zoom call with friends Photo by Gabriel Benois from Unsplash It took me the longest time to realize that everyone’s sorority experience is different. Not everybody joins a sorority and immediately makes lifelong connections and a hundred friendships. I realized this a month into joining my sorority when all my closest friendships weren’t in the sorority but rather outside. I am in no way saying that my sorority is a bunch of mean, catty, or shallow girls. The girls in my sorority were wonderful study buddies, mentors, and people to go out with, but the connection never went deeper than that. I was never able to share with them my insecurities, my doubts about joining the sorority, or anything beyond surface-level conversations about parties and boys and what events we would attend next weekend.

Being all virtual definitely enhances loneliness in all aspects of life. It has impacted everyone differently. For me, I definitely felt it most in my college experience and sorority life. College is the time to branch out and meet new people, and joining a sorority was my way of doing so. When I moved home, I was stuck here and any form of “real sorority life” was just not possible anymore in a sorority at the moment. Even with a leadership position, I felt extremely disconnected. Slowly, I became unmotivated to do the work that needed to be done. My sorority slowly became more of a burden in my life than anything else.

COVID Photo by United Nations COVID-19 Response on Unsplash If all this is true, why haven’t I dropped out of my sorority yet? When I seek advice from my friends, this is the question I get all the time. To be quite honest, I don’t have a good answer for anyone. Ever since the beginning of college, being a sorority has been part of my identity. It’s an association I’ve carried with me for a while, and I am scared of letting that go. Who am I without this label? Also, I guess I just have hope that once the pandemic is over, things will change. I keep this feeling that one day, I am able to reflect back on college and see that my sorority experience that seemed so bland and mediocre actually changed me for the better.