The other day I was in San Francisco with my mom and dad, eating a lovely meal just less than half a block away from Union Square when it dawned on me. Amidst the stress of the holiday season, worrying about Black Friday deals (even when there isn’t a need to because they are just a scam) and upcoming finals, I had completely forgotten about my birthday. Right in the middle of dinner, I had a “realization” that I was actually going to be 20 in a few days time. It seemed as though my parents forgot how old I would be too because the looks I got from my parents really put things into perspective. Whether what I saw was sadness or admiration, I realized birthdays are a time of self-reflection, including both the negative and positive things.
While it’s important to constantly have time to reflect, birthdays are a permanent reminder, a set date, for you to check in with yourself. My 7,300 days around the sun have not been easy. After seeing my parents reaction that I am now going to be their 20-year-old daughter, there are so many people that I want to thank for making my life as great as it is.
My friends
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To Sabrina, Emily, & Sanica: Thank you for being the greatest friends a girl could ask for. We might all be across California, but you guys play one of the biggest factors in my happiness. I could see one of you guys for five minutes and my day would instantly be better. I don’t think there is anyone I would rather go with when going to get boba. Thank you for always being a wonderful group of people that I can count to make me laugh or let me rant. It amazes me how each one of you are so unbelievably smart and driven, I am honestly so proud I get to say you guys are my friends. Thank you for letting me in 3 years ago — you have made my life so much better ever since.
To my swim family: A group of people that I don’t get to see as often since graduating high school, but a group that brings a smile to my face just thinking about them. My first two years of high school were undoubtedly very rough, but once I started associating myself with the swim team more and getting to know my teammates better, it became one of my reasons to actually stay and enjoy high school. I look back at high school now and the swim team will always be my fondest memory. It feels like I could talk to you all once a year and the moment I see everyone it would be like we were never apart. You have helped teach me that family doesn’t mean blood. Thank you for making me laugh even when I thought I couldn’t and for all the support both in and out the water.
To Jessica: Thank you for being you and having such a wonderful personality. You are such a genuine person with such a big heart. Whenever we get together, I truly am able to feel like myself. I am so thankful that choir class brought us together, it feels like I have known you a lot longer than just 3 years now. You are also part of the reason that made me enjoy high school so much more. You may not even know it, but you have helped me grow so much as a person.
To Ashal: Thank you for always being there and offering a positive outlook to life when I need it most. Thank you for reminding me of what my goals are and keeping me motivated. You are so unbelievably patient and kind to me when I am at my worst. I am so thankful to have someone to help distract me when I am feeling down and to help come up with solutions to my oh-so-many issues. You take a lot of time to help me even when you don’t have to. You listen to everything I have to say and never complain. Thank you for letting me get things off my chest and for all the endless Youtube videos you send me.
To Troi: Thank you for being a presence in my life that never fails to make me laugh. I can always count on you to send me the funniest memes and videos whenever I open up social media. We don’t talk as much as more but it seems like you always know when I am sad. I tend to get funny tweets on those days. I am so thankful to know someone who has the same sense of humor as me so we can appreciate Twitter together.
To the ones who tested me
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To the girls in high school: I can’t even begin to describe the devastating feelings that I felt my first two years of high school. Despair, self-loathing, bewilderment, loneliness, longing for a true friend or a group to belong to. After all that happened, like the time a teammate of mine found my picture ripped up into pieces in a classroom, my self-confidence was at an all-time low. When I look back now and think of what I went through, to be able to say that I made it through that brings me to tears. It was not an easy thing to bounce back from, and it took a while to trust people and to love myself again. Thank you for being in my life, even if it all ended terribly for me at the time. You all taught me what it means to a better person and helped me learn many things about myself that I never knew existed. I am who I am today — confident, driven, and a good friend to others — because of you.
To one of my high school math teachers: Thank you for telling me I would fail. You have helped me give my all in everything I do. Thank you for making one of my goals in life to prove people wrong and to bring light to the fact that just because you have a learning disability does not mean you aren’t smart or can’t be successful.
To one of my design professors: Despite it being one of the worst classes I have ever taken and had genuinely learned nothing in the class, I did walk away with two very important lessons. Thank you for knocking me down as many times as you did. It pushed me to realize that I should never question my ability to be able to do something and to always fight for what I believe in, no matter the person.
And last but most definitely not least, to my loving family
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To my mom and my dad: Thank you for the never-ending love and support whether it be in person or through my extremely random phone calls/texts throughout the day or your drives to Davis to pick me up. Mom, you really are a supermom, I don’t think there is anything you can’t do and I admire you so much for your strength and drive to keep moving forward and never giving up. You have taught me to fight and I don’t think there has ever been a time where you have been wrong about something. I truly believe women gain a special power when they give birth. Dad, you honestly amaze me how smart and active you are. It almost feels like you have to solution to every problem (and quite literally when it comes to math). I am so thankful that I am able to count on you when it comes to learning the ropes to the adult life. I wouldn’t want anyone else to learn about stocks or the latest on NPR or how to fix a bike tire with. You have taught me to always keep my eyes open and to try and learn everything I possibly can. Thank you both for being my cheerleaders and rock.
To my angels in heaven: You all are a constant motivator and my drive to keep pushing forward. It’s been difficult to live life without you all but I know that I can still work hard and make you all proud. Each one of you has taught me extremely important life lessons, intentionally or not, that I will hold on to and value for as long as I live. I don’t think there has been a day where I haven’t thought about each of you and though it can be a depressing thought of not having you anymore, it should also be a happy thought. That I was lucky enough to have been able to spend time with you even if it was just a moment. Thank you for making me a better person.