Farewell, Pumpkin Spice Latte; hello, Peppermint Mocha! Yes, Christmas is all around, as Bill Nighy reminds us every year when we pop in Love Actually. The season brings many things, one of them being the annual headache that is holiday shopping. But fear not! I am here to help you make this task less stressful and turn what is supposed to be a merry outing into less of a chore.
Don’t bother to put unwanted items away
If you’re walking around the store with an item only to realize that you don’t want to purchase it anymore, just leave it wherever. The same thing goes when it comes to the fitting room. When you decide you don’t want certain clothing items, don’t worry about putting them back on their designated racks. Hell, don’t even put them back on their hangers. Just leave the garments inside the stall. You’re in too much of a hurry, and you wouldn’t want to do a retail associate’s job for them. If you think about it, it would be patronizing to make their work simpler. That’s like presuming that someone wants to use the bumpers at the bowling alley. Remember, they’re getting paid to clean up after you! Leaving the clothes on the fitting room floor saves you time, which enables you to get more shopping done.
Let associates know if you’re upset
Often, it feels as if the retail world is out to get you. You’re in a rush? Then of course you’re stuck in the long line with the slow cashier. That being said, customer feedback is useful for businesses. It’s how they gauge the quality of their services. So if you’re stuck in a slow-moving line, be vocal about it. Let them know you’ve been waiting for 5 minutes. Yell, “Hey, where are the other cashiers?” If the associate looks very apologetic, don’t let that sway you. They’ve inconvenienced you and should not be let off the hook just because they’re “sorry.” If anything, leniency makes incompetence excusable. Tough love will ensure that this behavior will not happen again. When it’s your turn to pay, grumble when they ask you stupid questions like, “Did you find everything okay?” When checkout is over, make sure to squint at their nametag and ask for a manager, and when they make a move to summon them, just huff, and say, “Ugh, never mind. I’m in too much of a hurry.” Then make your exit.
Another disaster that you might come across is summed up by the cacophonous phrase “out of stock.” You ask the associate, “What do you mean it’s ‘out of stock?’” When they spew out some insipid excuse, that’s when you insert yourself and say, “Well, that’s not right. It’s Christmas. My dog really wants that popcorn maker.” And there they go with that word again. “Sorry,” they say. That’s when you really let them have it. After all, it’s false advertising to announce that they’re selling something without actually having it. It’s supply and demand, people. If a customer demands it, retailers should supply it. It’s Astronomics 101.
Make sure you are getting the best deals
These are trying times, and as such, we all want to save a buck or two. To ensure you’re getting the lowest prices, make sure you ask the cashier for the price of every item they ring up. If a price doesn’t fall under your budget, let them know that everything in the store is too expensive. But don’t just say it. Change starts with you, so let them see that you’re upset and demand that they give you the lowest price for that one item. They might prattle on about ‘store policy,’ yada yada yada. But what you actually should be hoping for is a coupon. You just have to fluster the associate enough for them to give you that discount. If they don’t budge, just mutter, “Never mind. I don’t want this,” and leave the items on the counter. This approach is not only a way to scope out the best deals and coupons; with your hard-hitting feedback, it also allows you to promote positive change within the retail industry. And you’re such a trooper for that.
None of the images or gifs used belong to the author or Her Campus UC Davis.