Finally, that incredible summer fling that you thought only existed in movies became a reality. You had that head-over-heels feeling causing a goofy smile to be plastered across your face. You were a smart collegiette™ and realized that living in the moment is the only way to live your life, and that nobody wants to live with regrets. So, now that you have completely invested yourself into this magnificent specimen of a man, you are suddenly ripped from his arms and back into the drunken debauchery that is college guys.
What’s a girl to do in this situation? First things first, take your own advice: live in the moment! While leaving that summer fling is hard, despite being prepared for the departure from the start, you enjoyed yourself. You learned about what you want and what you don’t want in a partner. You learned about yourself. You learned how a relationship functions outside of alcohol. Basically, you learned a lot. But now you wonder if these feelings, emotions, and actions can exist outside of the bubble of perfection that is a summer fling. The answer is: yes.
Did you ever expect to have a summer fling? To meet a guy so incredible you truly were weak at the knees? Most likely, you haven’t thought this was a possibility since the age of around eleven when you entered middle school and realized life is not like a movie. Even though you gave up hope, it still happened, against all odds. This in and of itself should reassure you that everything that goes along with a summer fling (minus the impending end) can be found with someone else.
My mother has always told me that each and every experience, regardless of how long, how functional, or how official, is a positive experience. Dating is about figuring yourself out, as well as what you want in a long-term partner. As long as you learn something from the experience, which inevitably you will, it is a successful part of growing up. It is because of this that each guy you date gets better and better. So, as much as it sucks, stop pining over that summer fling and be excited in knowing that there’s someone even better than him waiting around the corner!
One thing to keep in mind: summer flings are not exemplary of real life. Part of the reason why your summer fling was so perfect was that there was no time, and therefore no point, in having anything to argue about. Remember this when you start dating someone new. Arguing and working through disagreements are unavoidable parts of life, especially in regards to romantic relationships. They are a sign of a healthy relationship and are necessary for growth as individuals and as a couple. Do not compare your next relationship to your summer fling because it is incomparable. The circumstances are completely different.
So, stop texting (and Facebook stalking) your summer beau; it is the only way you will be ready and open to meeting someone new, local, and available. Look back on your summer fling fondly and take everything you learned from it with you to your future relationships. Do not lower your standards with the excuse that, “This is college,” because it is bullsh*t. Your new standards, increased by your summer fling, will be the reason for the next guy being better than the short-lived summer boy. Remember to enjoy your four years of college, because they go by faster than you can imagine. Don’t waste your time pining over a boy that isn’t even there, get out of your room and go meet new people! Who knows, you might meet the love of your life. But, then again, that only happens in movies, right?!