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How to Fake Confidence Until It’s Real

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

So, you want to be confident? Same, kiddo. Confidence is an amazing asset to bring to your career, your social circle, and your everyday life. It’s only recently come into style, previously being reserved for Beyonce and The Spice Girls (maybe?). Now, it’s an anthem that Demi Lovato sings consistently over the radio.

It brings up the question: How do I get me some of that sweet confidence? Well, I wish I had an easy answer. I wish I could direct you to an aisle in Target where they had Confidence™ and then I hand you a coupon for it.The fact of the matter is that confidence doesn’t come to you that way. If you’re anything like me, it comes from an intense amount of faking it. Here’s how I do it:

Image source: Pexels

1. Start believing instead of challenging.

When someone throws you a compliment, catch yourself before you go, “This old face? No. Never!” It’s easy to want to reject the praise of others when you don’t see those things yourself, but the less you verbally shut them down, your mentality can shift. It’s just like The Little Engine that Could: If you tell yourself that you can, you will. If you believe you are, you can be.

2. Shake it the heck off.

I’m a perfectionist and I hate not being the best at everything. Even if it’s something that I have never done, I get irked when I’m not great at it off the bat. The same thing goes for grades, interviews, auditions, and extracurricular activities. Having confidence comes from not sweating the small stuff. If we all beat ourselves up over every small mistake that we made, we would all be rocking back and forth in the corner of a haunted old hospital, going absolutely bonkers. Celebrate the things that you do well in and do not let small errors erase that feeling of happiness!

3. Embrace the things that you like (no matter how odd).

Look, I like some weird stuff… stuff like cartoons that no one has heard of and weird fan theories about Star Wars. Yet, I have stickers for both of these things on my laptop, front and center. There is power in being who you are and not caring if people like it or not. That power takes time to grow. However, it is way better it be proud of who you are and give lamer people the option to be prude toward you rather than to not embrace what makes you genuinely happy. Life is short. Watch Star vs. the Forces of Evil on Disney XD.

4. Life is funny. Laugh at it.

When the going gets tough, find the funny! When it’s boring, find the funny. Looking at life through a humorous lens instead of a microscope is for less mentally taxing. When people don’t like you or that person rejects you, find the funniest part of the situation instead of dwelling on every word you could have said wrong.

I am no guru of confidence. I just sat at a pizzeria with my pals yesterday and listed all my insecurities, and the list was long enough to wrap around the globe twice. However, life is a lot easier when you stop doubting yourself and slowly start liking the little things that make up who you are. Even as recently as freshman year, I thoroughly believed that I was a blazing pile of trash. But in reality, no one is a blazing pile of trash.

You’re wonderful. You’re worthy. You deserve to feel confident in the pieces that came together create you.

Cover image source: Pexels

Last named pronounced like "zucchini," a common summertime squash. University of California, Davis. English major and literature fiend. Proud member of Delta Delta Delta. Theatre kid. Standup comedienne.
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