As a single girl, I can tell you that dating isn’t nearly as fun as television makes it out to be.
You have to explain the same things about yourself over and over, figure out the other person, see if you’re emotionally compatible, and test the chemistry. Some people enjoy the process, but those like me find it tedious. After taking a while to recenter myself, I think I’ve figure out a few ways to actually enjoy dating.
First, I stopped focusing on the end result. I realized that setting high standards for potential relationships and partners made dating miserable. No one could possibly fit all my expectations, and I wound up feeling like I was settling when I couldn’t check everything off my list. I realized I had to just start seeing people for who they are. By this, I mean that instead of viewing them all as potential love interests, I started looking at the men I went out with as new people I wanted to get to know. Not judging them made the process of getting to know a brand new person much more fun and carefree.
I also began insisting on date activities that I know I enjoy. Doing the standard “dinner and movie” date felt like a chore because I don’t actually take pleasure in either of those activities. Once I started proposing my own ideas for date activities, like hiking or grabbing froyo, I started to feel more excited for my dates. Even if the date didn’t lead to anything else, I didn’t feel like I had wasted my time doing something I don’t like.
Finally, I stopped taking both myself and others so seriously. Sure, I’ve met some indecent guys. While I’m not going to lie and say I never had my feelings hurt, it’s a hell of a lot easier to move on when you can look back and laugh about it. Going on dates, and then sharing crazy stories with friends, is much more fun than sulking about an awful date. Put simply, bad dates lead to good jokes.
There is no doubt that dating is hard, and we all envy those in successful relationships. However, we single people get to experience the craziness in the world of dating. The most important thing to remember is that there are no actual rules to dating. Find a way to enjoy the journey, even if it takes a little while to get to the destination.