I watch television from an analytical standpoint, the same way movie fanatics watch movies. If a show is good, I’ll have to watch it more than once. Bojack Horseman, for instance, I have watched eight times. I have folders on my phone filled with notes on new things I notice every time I watch it — the episodes and times of the best scenes, and character analyses. I’ve never watched a show with characters more human and real than those in Bojack, and since Bojack himself is an animated horse, that should say something. The show masters raw emotion.
I’ve been an empathetic person for as long as I can remember, which is probably why I’ve connected to this show so much. I was extremely shy growing up; I barely cried as a baby and tried everything I could to stay out of other people’s way. The character Bojack Horseman is an enigma. He’s emotionally abusive and manipulative to everyone around him and every time you think he’s about to change, he only worsens. I could see so many people I knew in him, like the ones who always talk about how terrible they are but don’t do anything about it. Sometimes, I can see myself in him too. When Bojack cracks a joke that seems to perfectly mirror my sense of humor, or when he’ll break down and then continue his day casually; I feel a connection to him. Although I adore being around, talking to, and learning about people, sometimes I don’t have the enthusiasm for it like Bojack. He pushes the people he loves away then manipulates them into not actually leaving. I see what I despise about myself in Bojack as the complex character he is. Relating to Bojack makes me want to be a better person, so when I’m proud of something I’ve done, I see Princess Carolyn in me.
Princess Carolyn is Bojack’s agent and ex-girlfriend of ten years. She’s been used by almost everyone in her life, but she’s still incredibly strong. Everytime I uplift someone else in a way that hurts me, I see myself as her. She has the need to fix herself and others to the point where she loses her own sense of self. In some episodes her character will even seem robotic as she pushes away her emotions deeply. In those moments when the audience sees her slip up– she’s a mess. I see that part of her in myself too. I’ll notice sometimes that I don’t recognize myself. I’ve been too wrapped up in pleasing others that I forget who I actually am. Once in the show, Princess Carolyn used her imagination as a coping mechanism. She was having a rough day so she imagined her great-great-granddaughter telling a story about her. I’ve always had a very active imagination. I’ve even had more than one teacher tell me that my writing reads like my brain is moving faster than my hand, but I never took that as an insult. This scene connected to me so intensely that if the writer of Bojack Horseman told me it was based on me, I would have believed it. Overall, I’m unsure whether that connection made me feel better or worse. Although I was proud to connect to someone like Princess Carolyn, it illuminated a feeling of brokenness inside me.
The first time I watched Bojack Horseman, I watched it like it was a comedy; like Family Guy or The Simpsons. It took me a while before I realized that the comedic aspect of the show is just that the characters are half-animal, half-human. Of course, there are a few cute clips and some easy puns thrown into it but overall, it’s not meant to be a comedy. The second time, when I watched it like the psychological, deep show it is, I saw many dark aspects that I missed the first time. I believe this is a good representation of what life is. All we have in life are the connections and experiences we make.