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He’s Not a Mind Reader: Tell Him What You Want!

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

Why wait around hoping a guy will read your mind?  Let’s be honest, they can’t pick up on much, so what are the chances he’ll pick up on what you want him to do?  There’s no use in sitting around upset when he is completely oblivious.
You’ll get mad at him if he expects you to know what he’s thinking, so why wouldn’t he do the same for you?  Avoid it all and use your big girl words.  

Let’s break this down.  If you don’t tell him what you want and wait for him to figure it out… you shouldn’t hold your breath.  The chances of him figuring out what you want are slim to none.  In this scenario, you’ll be upset and he’ll be in ignorant bliss.  This is not a fun place for you to be in, and it will be the only thing you can think about.  Eventually, the buildup of him not doing X, Y, or Z will cause you to get in a fight (over something probably completely insignificant).  After all of the purposeless yelling, it will come out that you’re mad at him for not doing whatever it is you wanted him to do.  At this point, he’s only going to get upset that you didn’t tell him what you wanted in the first place.  To be fair to him, he isn’t a mind reader.  He will proceed to tell you that he would have done that thing that you wanted if only you’d told him.

Why put yourself, and him, through that unnecessary tension and fighting?  Who says you can’t just tell him what you want?  There is no rule, written, unwritten, or otherwise, that says that a girl can’t just tell a guy what she wants.  Life would be much easier if people actually communicated!  Don’t be afraid to say how you feel.  If you want something, there is no reason why you shouldn’t get it.  In the end, you’ll get what you want, your boyfriend/date/best friend/I-don’t-know-what-to-call-him will be happy he didn’t have to guess what you wanted (or incorrectly guess what you wanted), and you’ll both be happy you didn’t fight over something stupid!

Warning: Don’t take this too far.  Nobody wants to date someone who is always nagging or telling him or her what to do.  This is to be used for big things.  

For example, if you’re going to stop seeing someone unless he takes you on a date*, don’t hope he figures it out.  If you tell him that he needs to take you on a date or that you are going to stop the current relationship you have, you can bet that he’ll have reservations at your favorite restaurant by the end of the day.  If you don’t say anything, he’ll assume you’re happy with the way things currently are.  It doesn’t mean that he wants to stop seeing you; it just means that he’s ignorant of what you want. If for some inexplicable reason he doesn’t want to do what you ask, then you know that it’s time to move on to someone who appreciates you and the fact that you know what you want.

Speak your mind.  The worse thing that can happen is you’ll be in the same place you are, minus the constant headache of wondering if he’ll finally figure it out.  Either way, you’ll be in a state of bliss!

*Takes you on a date can be replaced with: asks you to be his girlfriend, wants to be exclusive, takes you to meet his family, or any other serious situation you might find yourself in.

http://www.funtoosh.com/jokes/men_women/442

Jessica is currently studying Graphic Design and Psychology at UC Davis. She hopes to one day move to New York and work for a fashion or fitness magazine. When she is not dreaming about her life in New York, she is either running, watching shows on hulu, socializing or baking cupcakes. She loves anything that will make her laugh, sunny days  and everything purple!