To the Girl Who Tried to Roast Sororities

This is a response to this article.

Oh! Hello, my sweet, little, freshman all-star. I read your first article, "To The Girl Who Didn’t Rush This Year." It was just like watching a baby take its first steps, because you fell down pretty quickly after it started.

Here's where you went wrong:

1. You assumed that every girl in the entire mass of the United States and Canada who has sneezed near a set of Greek letters looks exactly the same.

I know you are from a school where Greek life might seem like everything, and perhaps it does to your new collegiate eyes. Alas, as you will learn throughout college, the world is much, much bigger than you. It even expands past your favorite local pop-punk band.

Because of this, Greek life exists at a lot of campuses where almost 0% of the girls are sporting fake tans, bleached hair, or whatever other adjectives you saw in "House Bunny."

Image source: Photobucket

For example, I am a six-foot-tall, chunky little jar of peanut butter, with some frizzy brown hair plopped right on the top. With this description, you'd assume the only house that would want to take me would be a madhouse, but I actually live inside a sorority house! I totally eat there, poop there, and everything else! Wild.

2. You also assumed that we have some sort of standard for what things you can like.

All-star, I don't like Instagram! I don't really think anyone is a "fan" of Instagram. What's totally crazy is that I wear overalls and Doc Martens while I listen to my favorite pop-punk bands…. kinda like… wait a second… you!

This is because most sorority girls are just girls. There is no secret education telling you that you that you have to like country music (I hate it, All-star, to be frank) or only wear sundresses. No, no, no! We like things. My roommate is currently sewing herself a llama-patterned backpack while doing her accounting homework. What the heck even is that? I don't know! But I love her for it. You can like anything in a sorority. I like Spam burritos, pillow pets, and comic books. You need not roast me here; I already roast myself.

Image source: Author's own photo

3. You think we fake laugh?

All-star, I am a stand-up comedienne and if you think I am giving anyone a fake laugh in this lifetime, you are cruising for a bruising. Laughs are earned, and I get them here all the time. Our house mom just recited the lyrics to "All-Star" by Smashmouth and my grandlittle and I just finished tagging each other in memes instead of going out for the night. Fridays are for memes, all-star.

*Editor's note: Author is one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life and so she is a glorious addition to our writing team.*

4. You think that in order to lift yourself up, you need to put others down.

I have been writing articles like this since I was 16 years old. If there is one thing I want you to know, it is that you do not need to tear others down in order to support your own opinion.

Image source: Odyssey

Educate others on what upsets you, but do not criticize a life that you have never lived. It is because of people like you that people buy into stereotypes broadcasted by popular media. Maybe Greek Life is not for you, and this is totally fine.

However, just because something is not for you, it is not inherently evil. By spewing the stereotypes that you believe so wholeheartedly and by failing to attempt to get to know any woman who finds a home amongst other strong women, you are cutting yourself off from ever becoming educated. You are making it to where a stranger from UC Davis has to tell you a lesson that many of the girls down the hall from you could have told you.

I hope that you can realize that Greek women are just women. We like the same things you like, we have guy friends (shoutout to Aaron for getting petty with me this morning), and we come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. There is no machine producing sorority women. We are amongst you in your favorite restaurants, at your favorite concerts, and in your precious Vans store. We are just like you.

Keep your chin up, all-star. There is still time to learn.

Cover image source: Author's own photo