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After many years of experiencing the ups and downs of life, I have learned that friendship plays an integral role in one’s happiness. Yet, in today’s society, genuine friendship seems to be a diamond in the rough, and for the most part, not all of us seem to be the lucky ones to find it.

It feels as though at least one member of every “best friend” pairing speaks ill of the other behind his or her back. This brings me to my first point about how you can distinguish friends from fiends…

“ True friends stab you in the front.”

A true friend is someone who will tell you that you are being selfish or rude the moment you are acting so. A true friend is someone who cares about you, and is willing to work with you so you can become the best version of yourself. He or she will not abandon you, or speak about your flaws behind your back.

Yet, with all of this said, a true friend will also not point out or magnify a “flaw” you cannot change.

“You shouldn’t point out things about people’s appearances if they can’t fix it in ten seconds.”

A friend who alludes to your recent weight gain or the new zit on your forehead in a malicious manner is not someone you want by your side. This may sound juvenile, but it does happen, even after high school. These people are superficial and not necessary in your life!

“Stay away from people who make you feel like you’re not good enough because you are worth so much more.”

Friends are for lifting each other up, not pushing each other down. Hanging out with the wrong group of people will not only make you feel alienated, but will also lower your self esteem. Be true to who you are. You will eventually attract the right people, and the right people will NOT make you feel bad for being the person you are. They will help you embrace the true you.

“Pay close attention to the people who don’t clap when you win. ”

This is by far the most important quote I have ever encountered. For the longest time in my life, I always excused “friends’” shady behavior because I remembered rough times when they were a shoulder to cry on. Sure, a good friend is there for you when you need someone to turn to, but an even better friend is there for you when you are flourishing. They are the ones who are just as excited for your new relationship or new internship as you are. This quote made me become more aware of my surroundings as I went through exciting times in my life, and since then, I have noticed I do not have as many true friends as I thought I did.

“Everyone deserves a second chance, but not for the same mistake.”

If a friend lied to you about why they had to cancel your Friday night plans, then it is okay to gracefully accept it. However, if the lying persists, it is a major red flag. Some problems cannot be solved. You have to know when it is time to move on to other friends who will value your friendship more.

“You will evolve past certain people. Let yourself. ”

Sometimes, memories with friends make us want to cling to those friendships. However, friendships end for a reason, and sometimes nostalgia sugarcoats past memories to make them seem ten times better than they actually were. All I have to say is, don’t force anything. You can try to reconnect, but if you two cannot find common ground or end up running into the same problems again, then let it go.

 

 

 

 

 

Saba is a third year student at University of California, Davis where she is majoring in Neurobiology, Physiology and Behavior. She is the former Editor in Chief and Campus Correspondent at her school's branch of Her Campus, where she served from March 2016 to March 2017. She hopes to attain an MD one day, specialize in ob/gyn and later work on public health policies, especially those regarding women's health and reproductive rights.
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