While FOMO (fear of missing out) has always been a real thing, it has gained precedence with the rise of the internet – and, subsequently, social networking sites. Unfortunately, I am no stranger to this unpleasant ordeal, despite my many attempts at self-love and feigning nonchalance. The term “FOMO” is often considered millennial internet-speak, but its implications have a far wider reach.
This feeling is often associated with loneliness and low self-esteem. But how could it not? It is incredibly distressing when you log onto social media – with no purpose other than passing the time and alleviating boredom – and see photos of friends with one another, having fun and making memories without you. While you desperately want to give them the benefit of the doubt (“Maybe there were too many people…” “Maybe they forgot…”) it’s difficult not to immediately assume the worst: Maybe you just don’t matter.
And the worst may very much be true. Perhaps you view your friends as friend-friends, but they see you as school-friends or work-friends. Or maybe you’re not even friends – just someone they talk to out of convenience’s sake, until someone better comes along.
There are so many platforms that allow for feelings of missing out to take place. Snapchat is probably (in my experience) the most common way for one to be exposed to friends’ plans, but Instagram posts and Instagram stories do not fall far behind. And exposure to this ranges from seeing that two of your friends posted a photo of the same thing at the same time (so, ergo, they are together) to seeing a happy group photo of everyone involved (leaving little room for imagination).
In times like this, it’s important to remind yourself of a few things. Know that your feelings are valid. You’re allowed to feel sad and dejected – even if others dissuade you from doing so. Know that YOU are valid; you are important, your emotions are important, and there are people out there who genuinely care for you and see you. And, know that you are more than the number of friends you have – you are a person who deserves endless love and if they can’t see it, then fuck ’em.
Cover image source: Pexels