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Fashion Don’ts: People Watching in Davis

People watching in Davis should be an Olympic sport, suitable for only those that are not easily offended. As I sit in front of Peet’s and try to relearn a quarter’s worth of calculus, only one equation makes sense to me. Cut-off overalls+polka dot ruffle socks = no, no, NO. Whatever provoked such a disastrous decision is far beyond me, just like my calc homework. The sad part is that, while this outfit is most definitely hopeless, the girl wearing it is not!

Remember, the clothes you wear can ultimately make or break your appeal and, even on a limited budget, you should never have to settle for overalls. Here is a list of a few of my personal fashion “dont’s.” While trends change from season to season, these looks will remain far away from my wardrobe forever.

1. Kitten heels. Even if you’re tall and relatively uncoordinated in heels, a pair of kittens scream “It’s my bat mitzvah and I can cry if I want to.” Please, leave these shoes for the prepubescent and the elderly. For those of you who can’t seem to walk in heels, practice makes perfect gf! For the long-legged, 5’7” and up collegiettesTM, a pair of classic ballet flats make a much better substitute than the always awkward kitten heel.

2. This next one I have discovered first hand. Never use a crimper, ever. You will look like the sixth spice girl and it’s not 1995 anymore so, no, that’s not something you should aspire to.

3. Refrain from mix matching prints. This means that stripes and florals typically do not go well together.

4. Buy things that fit! Love handles and muffin tops do not have to exist if you purchase clothes that are the proper size and undergarments that fit you right. Also, if you are shopping online and the shirt, pant, skirt etc. makes the 100 lb model look fat, it will most likely not be flattering on you either.

5. Clear heels. Enough said. Cinderella is just a fairy tale for a reason.

6. Shrugs. Again, not a good look.

7. Sunglasses at night. The jersey shore is not an exception.

8. Speaking of everybody’s guilty pleasure reality TV show, anything that you can imagine Snookie rocking or Mike the Situation hitting on is probably a no go. Signs you may be headed towards fashion failure: Ed Hardy, anything bedazzled, shiny, or tacky shirt-dresses that barely cover you, etc.

9. Velour tracksuits. Although these are comfortable, they are meant to be worn only in the privacy of one’s own home.

10. My last and final don’t is also a personal shout out to my roommates. Leggings should not be worn as pants. Sorry guys, even if you have buns of steel, no one wants to see it. If you do choose to wear leggings, at least wear a shirt that is long enough to cover your caboose.

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