I am not an object when I wake up. I start the day by smoothing moisturizer onto my face, preparing a kettle for hot tea, untangling the knots in my hair with a few brushes, and I feel alive. Breathing, heart pumping, consuming, metabolizing – I am alive.
But when I cross the front door, leaving behind the safety of my home and without asking for this at all, I become an object of desire. It’s as if I’m a mouse that has just laid her eyes on a barn cat. My pupils increase in size, my heart rate exceeds normal, and my senses are quick to react. In other words, my body goes into anxiety-mode. I realize that wearing my most cozy and snug leggings are actually uncomfortable – but only in public.
The objectification of women is all around us and it is something we have to fight every single day. I thought to myself, how can I get past my fear of wearing leggings in public? There is one answer that came to mind – take that fear and transform it into confidence. Why am I letting men on the street dictate how I feel when it should be me who chooses my emotions? Inspired by my own experiences, I’ve created a guide for myself and every other woman out there to feel confident despite unwarranted objectification:
1. Say How You Feel
If a man decides to cat-call you and makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to hold in how you feel. Confrontation can be a way to make a difference. Although we can’t change how this person views women overnight, we can take charge of making our voice and opinion heard by reminding them we are not objects to sexualize. That being said, if you do feel comfortable enough to confront a cat-caller, make sure to gauge your exact situation so you don’t put your safety at risk!
2. Wear What You Like, But Do So As If There Is No Male Influence Whatsoever
Wear your favorite stilettos and jean skirt, but do it for yourself – not for another person. It feels great to be all dressed up, but remember that you decide what you want to wear. Our society shouldn’t do that part for us. For example, I have always wanted to wear Crocs on a first date!
3. Feel Good in Your Natural Body
Appreciate your body in tight-fitting clothes, but also feel good about your body in loose-fitting clothes. Our culture sexualizes women and their body parts to be ‘slim’ but also ‘curvy,’ and other unrealistic expectations. Everyone’s body is different! We need to see our differences as beautiful rather than only appreciating the “beautiful” characteristics implemented by our society.
4. Eat What You Like
Say “YES” to Trader Joe’s cookies. Never hold back because you are afraid of “ruining” or “fattening” your body. Enjoy food and enjoy your life! Eating disorders and dietary patterns are strongly linked to how our culture visualizes how a woman should look. We need to break this connection to ensure that we are first and foremost prioritizing our mental and physical health rather than looks.
5. Help Your Friends Realize They Are Being Sexualized, Even if It Hurts
Objectifying is so normalized in our culture that we might forget to be aware it’s happening. Let your friends know if someone is delegitimizing them or if they’re choosing to ignore these issues. Push them to be aware of what’s going on and in turn, make more conscientious decisions.
