Dear Collegiette Code,
My roommate and I started off the year as really good friends, but I’m starting to get irritated. She stays up all night watching Netflix, and she refuses to use earphones because they “hurt” her ears. I have 8 am classes, so the sound of her show and her constant laughter is making me sleep deprived. I don’t want to make things awkward by having a big confrontation, but I’ve even tried using earplugs, and it doesn’t help. What should I do?
-Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
My roommate used to do the same thing, even when I was studying. I asked her to use earphones, but she kept forgetting. I think you should tell your roommate to use headphones instead. They’ll cover her ears, but they won’t be uncomfortable and she won’t have to plug them in. You could also ask her to move to a common area like the living room. It’s important that you don’t accuse her of being insensitive. Rather, air out your concerns about sleeping well and getting some peace and quiet. Be honest and straightforward. Living with others is about accommodation and good communication, and your roommate needs to understand that.
-Wendy
At this point, you need to be completely honest with your roommate just as you were being honest with us. If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will. Sleep is crucial in college!
-Hannah
Dear Frustrated,
Unfortunately this won’t be the last time you have to deal with your roommate. However, as you navigate this year, I am confident that the two of you can come to an agreement. Have you ever heard the saying “teach people how to treat you?” It couldn’t be more relevant. You need to stand up for yourself and set a tone for the rest of the year. If you come from a calm and kind place, then it becomes a discussion rather than a confrontation. Be honest and let her know that your sleep is really taking a hit and that you’ve truly tried to do everything in your power to block out her noise. So many people use headphones and have no issues, so it is unfair for her to make you suffer. Appeal to her emotions. Tell her that you’ve been trying your very best to be a good roommate and that you expect the same from her. If you maintain your composure and truly listen to what she has to say, you guys will both be happy with the result. Good luck!
-Brittney
Dear Frustrated,
It seems to me that your roommate is taking advantage of your kindness and sympathy for her ear situation. I would confront her directly and ask her to watch Netflix in the common area instead of in the bedroom while you are sleeping. If worse comes to worst, you can always change roommates, but it is best to talk to her instead of just avoiding the conversation.
-Lauren
Hey Frustrated,
If you haven’t set up a roommate agreement, you should sit down and make one together. It’s basically a list of all the rules that the two of you agree on. Then, if another problem arises, you can either refer to the agreement or decide to negotiate certain points and revise it. Make sure to come up with quiet hours for the evenings. Remember that it doesn’t have to be a huge confrontation; just think of it as a small (but necessary) point to share with your roomie! You’re not asking for a lot, so she should understand.
-Honey
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