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College Students Talk Hookup Culture

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

Our generation is known for being vocal about hookup culture. We talk about how the question of, “How long do we date before we have sex?” has turned into, “How many times do we have sex before we date?”

With social media and apps, hooking up has become easier than ever. We can see who is interested in us with just one swipe thanks to Tinder. Instead of asking someone out to dinner first, many have developed the habit of just sending a quick flirty text that gets straight to the point.

That being said, everyday we are suffocated by articles criticizing this sexually-liberating lifestyle. So, what does this generation really think about its hookup culture? I went around and asked people who could relate the most: college students.

Pro Hookup Culture:

“I’m for it. I love hooking up. People should do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t hurt other people. Also, get consent.”

“I’m pro hookup culture as long as you’re safe and smart about it. Example: You and your partner are both on the same page about what you expect from each other— whether it’s a one night stand or friends with benefits thing. I think hookup culture has led to positive changes in sex education, so as long as you have your emotions in check, go for it. I know for me, I prefer being single and hooking up with a variety of people because I either feel I don’t have the time for a relationship, or I don’t really long for one. I just meet people I like, live in the moment, and don’t necessarily feel the pressure to ever define what it is. I just go with the flow, and since it takes a lot for me to become emotionally attached to someone, I prefer the liberty provided by hookup culture. In fact, the old-timey “going out on dates” thing freaks me out and gives me anxiety.”

“I, personally, am quite a fan of hookup culture. I find that experiencing other people is a world of its own, one you can’t get in any other way besides doing it. Finding what level of respect people will give, the style in which they hook up, what kind of kink there is, and how people execute it; I feel this is all very important for figuring out what you truly enjoy. Yes, there will be bad experiences, you will find some people you just don’t connect with, and that can be disappointing, but the things you will learn about yourself, about the minds and hearts of others, is irreplaceable. On the other hand, I feel like people who look for love in sex can get hurt, and being able to look at sex objectively rather than romantically can also prove difficult when actually falling in love and showing that love through sex. But if you can enjoy sex for what it is, a physical experience, isn’t it interesting that every person does it a little differently?”

“Hookup culture is probably the best and worst thing to happen to college students. Best, because women and men equally have a choice to do whatever they want with whomever they want without any societal norms burdening them. It’s bad in the sense that nobody seems to be in relationships anymore. Everything is “friends with benefits,” or people are “hanging out,” or they are “hooking up,” which are all just glorified versions of being attached to someone without having to actually commit. Basically, I’m pro hookup culture because I respect the right to do as one pleases, but in my personal life, I’m anti hookup. I wouldn’t personally partake in it, but that doesn’t mean I am against the entire culture.”

“I think I’d say I’m for it because it can be a really good thing if both parties are just looking to have fun with no commitment. People should be allowed to embrace their sexuality, and shouldn’t feel bad for having fun in college. It’s definitely not for everyone and no one should feel pressured to do it, but at the same time, no one should be judged for doing it”

Anti Hookup Culture:

“Hookup culture is something that entices and disgusts me. I personally can’t hook up without being open to a relationship. When I hear people talk about hookup culture, I find it extremely annoying and unattractive. It’s something people should be less open about, because it’s nobody else’s business.”

“I’m against how big it is. It’s basically an epidemic. I feel like there needs to be some middle ground, but nowadays everyone seems to only be into hookups. I don’t like how people treat their hookups like objects instead of people.”

“I actually was very pro hookup culture when I first entered college. I absolutely loved the freedom I had to hook up with whomever I wanted without getting judged, and not having to worry about commitment. However, I’m not as into hooking up with strangers as I used to be. I don’t want to do that anymore, and I want a relationship that is truly meaningful. But with the dominating presence of hookup culture in college, I find it difficult to even attain that kind of relationship. I see a lot of relationships being built off of the “friends with benefits” thing first, but I don’t like gambling; I don’t want to keep having sex with someone, hoping they MIGHT want to date me later. I want to have sex with someone if I know they truly want me first. I don’t want to waste my time. I guess I started to become anti hookup culture when I started to look for more meaningful exchanges.”

“Even though there are some positive aspects about hookup culture allowing people to do what they want without judgment, I am anti hookup culture. With hookup culture becoming more and more prevalent, it is cheapening real relationships. It’s giving people an easy way to escape from any kind of commitment, and it’s giving people excuses to treat others like sex objects.”

Evidently, hookup culture is still something our generation is ambivalent about. Some love it, but others wish we could revert to old ways. Whether we like it or not, hookup culture is happening right now. While many of us are embracing it, it’s important to understand that if you are against it, you are not alone. If you want to wait for the right one before you start having sex, then by all means go ahead.

As you can see, there are still quite a lot of us that prefer it that way. And if you want to partake in hookup culture, then now is your time. Just make sure that you are safe about it, and are going into it for the right reasons, not for unrequited love or validation, just for fun.

 
Saba is a third year student at University of California, Davis where she is majoring in Neurobiology, Physiology and Behavior. She is the former Editor in Chief and Campus Correspondent at her school's branch of Her Campus, where she served from March 2016 to March 2017. She hopes to attain an MD one day, specialize in ob/gyn and later work on public health policies, especially those regarding women's health and reproductive rights.
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