Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo

I always thought that turning 18 would change me in some way. I thought that the day would come and bing, bam, boom, I’d do some dramatic Cinderella transformation into an adult. How stupid and naive was I? For as long as I can remember, I’d been counting down the days until I turned 18.

It was a symbol of freedom and adulthood, a time I could finally be the orchestrator of my own destiny. However, after my first quarter at Davis, I realized my conception of eighteen and even adulthood was so very wrong. I messed up  a lot. I made mistakes. I felt small and alone and that confused me. Wasn’t I an adult? Wasn’t I supposed to be able to have better control of my life? The problem was that my idea of being 18 was from the view of 15-year-old me. Now that I’m actually 18, my perception has changed. When I was in high school, I thought that as soon as college came around I’d move out and start a new, independent life away from my family. 

However, I still rely on my family, and when I visit home, things are still similar. My high school self would think that’s a bad thing. However, now I’ve realized the comfort in knowing my family is there for me. Nowadays, my home is a place to relax and de-stress; it doesn’t feel like a prison, holding me back from the world. It’s almost scarier now. The world is open to me, and it’s my responsibility to make the right decisions. I have to take initiative in order to achieve my full potential, and not reaching that potential is what frightens me the most. 

Before, I could blame my young age for not being able to do everything I wanted at that moment, but now I have no excuses. I can’t be lazy anymore. I have to step up because I’m not an adult ─ not yet. There’s no such thing as a magic age where everything in life is going to work out. You have to continually strive and change in order to reach your perceived standard of “being an adult.”

Savrene is a third-year cognitive science major. She can be found exploring new places, with her nose in a book, listening to music, binging her latest favorite tv show, and spending time with friends and family.
Similar Reads👯‍♀️