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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

5 Quick Tips to Keep in Mind for When Friends Aren’t Being Friends

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

We all go through it. Rough patches with friends happen to everyone. It’s basically in the recipe for friendship. High school is the prime breeding ground for tricky friendships but it doesn’t stop there. In fact, it never stops there. As much as we want to say “drop the high school drama,” that drama never actually stops and these behaviors are carried on into college and yes, sadly the work world as well. Here are some tips that I have accumulated over the years. My handy-dandy toolbox.

1. Communicate

The number one ingredient for all things relationship. There are two sides to every story (so cliché yet so true). Everyone has experienced life differently, which means everyone’s character and social skills are shaped very uniquely. This means our experiences in life might make us react to a situation differently from the next person. Take turns talking about how you feel and explain your side but also make sure to listen, you might be in the wrong. They might be going through something and taking their feelings out in the wrong way.

Image source: Christina Morillo 

2. Validation

Don’t ever let someone tell you what you are feeling is wrong. Validate and recognize that you are feeling a certain way. This comes back to understanding that everyone experiences things differently so nobody has the right to say how you should react to something.

3. Patience

There is no set recipe to make a perfect friendship. They may say things that don’t sit well with you, but you have to appreciate that honesty and try to look for a solution. Sometimes a solution might be hard to come to, but that doesn’t mean you should give up. It just means you have to try again. Things take time to build or blow over.

Image source: Pexels

4. Don’t Trash Talk

The classic subtweet, finsta post and talk behind your back. Quite honestly the tip for this is to ignore it. If you catch them gossiping about you the best thing to do is go back to number one and communicate. They clearly have too much time on their hands if they are wasting time trying to create public drama. They want to get a reaction out of you and they want others to think badly of you. By ignoring them, you end up looking like the better person.

5. What Goes Around Comes Around

Another cliché thing to say, but another one that is oh-so true. Realize that what you put out into the world is what you get back. People that treated you poorly might not realize it now but with some time they will see what they did wrong. Try to continue being the bigger person and continue to put your best foot forward in the friendship. Eventually, good things will come your way and you will get what you deserve.

Image source: Ben White

Olivia is a second-year student studying Design and Textiles and Clothing at UC Davis. If her major and minor don't give any clues, she is extremely passionate about fashion. When she isn't looking up the latest trends or scrolling through social media, you could probably find her at the gym, drinking tea, taking pictures, attempting to learn every language under the sun or spending money she probably does not have.