As I walk around campus and Davis, it’s funny to recall all of the different experiences, phases, emotions, and people that have colored my first year of college. The past nine months have brought the highest highs and the lowest lows; intense is really the best word for it. I’ve learned so much, done so much, and met so many people. I’ve watched and felt myself grow. I’ve been on top of the world, cripplingly insecure, lonely and constantly surrounded by people. I am proud of everything I’ve accomplished. I feel like I’ve gotten everything I could’ve gotten out of freshman year; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because I’ve met so many people and been in a foreign environment, I’ve questioned near everything about myself and my life. Here are some of the things that freshman year has made me challenge:
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What’s my ideal balance of being alone versus being with people?
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Do I try too hard?
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Should I make a YouTube channel?
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Business school? Law school? Masters degree?
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Am I cool?
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What does it mean to be cool?
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Do I miss my family?
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Am I smart?
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Do I have friends here?
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Do I like UC Davis?
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Who are my real, lasting friendships from high school?
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Am I a morning person?
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What inspires me?
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Do I like myself?
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Am I ambitious?
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Is there a chance I’ll ever be famous?
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Would I have liked going to school in New York or on the east coast, or would it make me sad and homesick?
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Am I intimidating?
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Do I even like drinking?
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Should I stop smoking weed?
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How do you make small talk????
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Do I know my limits?
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What can I do to take care of myself?
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Am I being who I want to be?
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Are college parties even fun?
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How do you flirt?
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What should I be doing to get my career started?
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What career do I want?
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What should I major in??
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How is next year going to be different? How is it going to be the same?
It’s important to stop and reflect, especially in college. I don’t want to just float through life, especially in a phase of life as formative and special as college. In this time, you learn and grow and change so much, and it’s interesting and beautiful to stop every now and then and observe how you’ve responded to all of the crazy, scary, fun, exciting things that college throws at you. I don’t know what my sophomore year has in store for me, but I feel like each quarter will keep getting better and better. Freshman year’s been a ride, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.