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The 10 Stages of Reading Horoscopes

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

Horoscopes got us like:

1. Okay, yes, I am definitely optimistic and love to give hugs.

2. Yes. That’s it! I am totally affectionate.

3. True… I do see how being super affectionate can make me emotionally vulnerable sometimes.

4. Wow, how did they know I’m currently going through a heartbreak?!

5. So, according to this, there is a light at the end of every tunnel…

6. And the tunnel I’m currently in is coming to an end…

7. Therefore, there is a big surprise coming my way next week that will turn my frown upside down?! FINALLY!!! I LOVE YOU ASTROLOGY, I HAVE NEVER DOUBTED YOU EVER.

8. Wait a second… (frowns) I was reading the wrong sign’s horoscope this whole time?!

9. (Checks own horoscope (The right one this time)).

10. And… It says my big mouth is going to cause me some major public humiliation in the very near future? That’s ridiculous; this isn’t true, and astrology isn’t even accurate anyways…

 

Saba is a third year student at University of California, Davis where she is majoring in Neurobiology, Physiology and Behavior. She is the former Editor in Chief and Campus Correspondent at her school's branch of Her Campus, where she served from March 2016 to March 2017. She hopes to attain an MD one day, specialize in ob/gyn and later work on public health policies, especially those regarding women's health and reproductive rights.
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