Autumn is upon us. If you’re anything like me, you’re running on pure pumpkin spice and trying desperately to maintain your “I don’t like candy” image whilst sneaking snack-sized Kit Kats when no one is looking. It’s rough out here, and a girl could use some support. And no, I don’t mean from an actual person. Look no further than the star of our favorite trans-holiday film, the Pumpkin King himself, Mr. Jack Skellington. Here are just a handful of reasons why he’s the perfect man to get you through spook season:
1. He’s tall.
I’m here for positivity of all bodies, but as a fairly tall gal myself, I’ve got to say that I love it when I’m not the tallest person in the room. Tall boyfriend Jack can grab stuff off the top shelf for short company, and I get to stay sitting. I call this a win.
2. He loves Christmas almost as much as you do.
I know it’s still Halloween and I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, but, like, remember when he literally stole Christmas? I mean, misguided for sure, but like, J a c k w a s v a l i d a n d I s u p p o r t h i m.
3. He definitely loves Halloween as much as you do, if not more.
Okay, I hate admitting that someone loves something more than me, but without a doubt, Jack loves Halloween more than I do. He’s literally in charge of it. And on Halloween all the kids get candy, not just the good ones. We stan a communist king.
4. He’s super fashionable.
Black and white will never not be chic, and this man wears it on the daily (except for when he’s trying to be Sandy Claws). We could be the matching power couple of dreams. We could get a Vogue cover. Anna Wintour would call from her personal number. Dream come true, cue the Disney music.
5. He has a dog!!
And not just any dog, a hypoallergenic prince! Zero’s lack of fur not only makes him even more adorable but also means fur won’t stick to all of your black clothes? This is invaluable.
6. This man can sing.
“Jack’s Lament,” “What’s This?” ─ we love them both. Give this man a record deal, and he can have my heart while he’s at it <33.
7. A man who’s emotionally literate?
Sure, he may find himself in some trouble from time to time when he acts on his feelings, but at least he can talk (and sing) about them. A man who defies Toxic Masculinity is a man for me.
8. He knows Santa.
Okay, yeah, Santa probably doesn’t like him, and that’s valid, but hear me out. If Santa really is as kind as he claims, he can find it in that big ol’ heart of his to forgive Jack. I’m just saying, eventually, Santa might invite you to The North Pole. And even the slightest possibility of that is enough for me.
9. He’s like a puppy.
He might make mistakes every now and then, go sniffing around in other holidays’ yards, but his heart is in the right place. He’s super loyal, and he just wants to do his best. At the end of the day, he’s just as a problematic fave should be ─ more fave than problematic.
10. He’s literally the Pumpkin King!
This means unlimited pumpkin spice chai tea lattes and pumpkin pie year-round. The season we all live for never has to end. You could be gourd royalty!
Image source: Pexels