It’s safe to assume that everyone has experienced at least one toxic friendship in their life. It’s something that everyone goes through at some point; whether it is in high school, college, or beyond. Friends are not supposed to be shady, competitive, or inconsiderate. Friends always have good intentions for you, celebrate your successes, and think of how their actions may negatively affect you or your friendship. When you find yourself doubting the quality of certain friendships, feel sad after hanging out, or feel unappreciated, we face two options. Our first option is the obvious, which is to drop them! Our second option can be more tricky, but so common, which is to continue associating ourselves with them. One of the reasons I personally remained friends with toxic people was because I was so worried about what would happen afterwards. I would wonder, “Am I going to be alone?”, or “I might still see them around, so it’s going to be awkward,” which are valid concerns. Despite these concerns, we all reach a point where enough is enough.
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Worrying about the “consequences” of cutting off a bad friend should really be the last of our worries. It’s time we put ourselves before anyone. When we put our happiness, self-esteem, and mental health first, the quality of our social and personal life will definitely improve. I recently went through the difficult decision to cut someone off who I truly believed was a dear friend of mine. I had entered this friendship believing it was full of trust, love, and support. What I began to realize after months of hanging out was that there really wasn’t any of that. I found myself questioning their character, deciphering if they had just made a harmless joke or sneak-dissed me, and feeling discouraged whenever I shared goals for my future. After a couple months of dealing with this nonsense, I decided that enough was enough. I deserved better and had every intention of getting that. I chose to cut this person off for the sake of my happiness, self-esteem, and mental-health. You should do the same because we all deserve better.
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The quality of my social and personal life has drastically improved since I decided to remove this person from my social circle. My fear of awkward encounters and being alone had held me back and prevented me from going after what I deserved. But I believe everything happens for a reason. If I did not go through this, I probably would have remained in the same situation and not had the ambition to get out there and make new friends. I am a completely different person, with a different mindset and level of tolerability. I put myself first and I’ve been gifted growth, strength, and valuable friendships. To anyone who finds themselves stuck in a cycle of toxic friendships and want out, set all of your worries aside and put yourself first. This is your sign to drop the person who came to mind after reading this. You got this.