My anxiety drives me to do many things that are not good for me, from comparing my physical appearance to others to planning things ahead of time and thinking of all the possible situations that can happen so I do not look like a fool. However, for about the last year and a half, my mind has made it a habit to compare my life to others around me. Being in college only fuels this and it takes a toll on me. I know that we should never compare ourselves to others because we all have our own insecurities and journey, but as someone with anxiety, this is kind of difficult to avoid. Recently, I have been anxious and concerned about how slow my life is moving compared to others and the fact that I am graduating in the Spring only makes this worse because I am hearing about all the career opportunities others already have lined up.
Society and the work culture in the U.S. judge many people for not working as much as others do; if you are not hustling, then what are you even doing? This mindset is extremely toxic, especially to younger people who are just entering the workforce; we have it embedded in our brains that if we want a decent living, then we have to work more than 40 hours or have multiple jobs. People can intentionally, or unintentionally, make others feel guilty for not doing exactly what they are doing in order to achieve the American Dream. It is important to understand that life really is not a race. We all grow and bloom at our own pace; no one is behind in life.
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People can be made to feel bad about deciding to take a year off from school and go abroad or work a regular job. School is always going to be around, but there are always things to learn. We should not be quick to judge people for these types of decisions because not only is it their life, but they could be struggling with their health or have personal issues going on that require more attention. You will not be behind in life because you take a break. You might not graduate with your friends, but they are always around if they are your true friends.
Being in college or a graduate and not having a career plan does not put you behind either. I have been struggling to accept this, but it is true! I think I do not have a plan yet because my interests lie in more than one place and, to be honest, it is incredibly awesome that I have diverse interests, it just means that I could have opportunities in more than one place. You go to college to learn about more than just your major- you learn about yourself, about others, and pick up on new interests. Just know that it is ok if you are still figuring out your plans. Remember that you have a place in the world, a place that is perfect for you.
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It can be hard to see our friends and peers getting opportunities while our life is at a standstill. My thoughts and advice on that are to just focus on yourself and on getting new opportunities for yourself. You need to care for and prioritize yourself because no one else will; what others do is not going to really help you out much. Additionally, if your friends are getting job or internship offers, root for them, they are human after all and also need encouragement. Just as you would appreciate a great support system, they would too. It is important to uplift and support our friends. These things can take someone far and give them the extra confidence they might need.
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No time is wasted as long as you are happy or are in pursuit of your happiness. If you are working in your dream job then you are achieving your wildest dreams and that is amazing. If you are still figuring your plans out then that is also great! This means that you are not settling for anything that does not make your life worthwhile. I am not saying that always hustling is bad, but we should not make others feel bad for how they choose to achieve their goals ort compare our success to that of others What is meant for you is already yours, it can take time to get there, but you will get there.
Time is not running out. You will achieve all your goals and take on new ones. Work hard, but remember that you have a greater purpose than just working. You are not less valuable for taking breaks. Be proud of your work and your journey!