Having recently gotten a new piercing, I have come to notice a few things that friends always seem to do or say during the entire process. If you’re into any kind of body modification, you may have encountered a few of these list items. It seems to happen every time I get a new piercing, without fail. And while I understand the art of body modification is still taboo in our society and people are curious creatures, I can’t fathom why some of the things on this list are still in regular occurrence. Let’s begin.
1.Friend: “I want to/am going to get something pierced, I just don’t know what.”
– There’s always that one friend who wants to –NO WAIT, WILL – get something pierced with you but this rebel is always unsure of what they want. So you give them a list of options, and you keep it tame because you know it’s never going to happen anyway, but conveniently, once at the shop they seem to have lost any interest whatsoever in even a new cartilage piercing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind being alone on this adventure but don’t act like a new piercing is honestly on the table for you if it’s not. You ain’t gotta lie to kick it. Most people are fascinated with/committed to the idea of a piercing rather than the actual process of getting one. But that’s fine. Do you.
2.You should get your insert outrageously painful/odd piercing of choice here
– O RLY?! Okay, but maybe you should get your nipples/whoo-ha/tongue pierced with me and we could match! TWAAAAIIIINNZZZ (twins)!!
How about no?
This person is also usually friend 1, the one thinks they want a piercing, backs out, but suggests the most painful one for you. No thank you. Goodbye.
3.“Did it hurt?”
– Get out.
Inevitably, when someone learns of your new piercing, this is the first question to come out of their mouth. Followed by, or interchangeable with, “Why?” I’m sorry? Why? Because I felt like it. Wat. What kind of question it that? One does something because one wants to it. But I digress. “Did it hurt?” No, it felt like an angel whisper. Here, let me stab you and show you.
Really now? Someone just put a needle though my skin. Of course it hurt. I think the question you are searching for is “how much did it hurt?” Word choice is key!
4. “Let me see it!”
– Hello, yes, I am not a pygmy goat. I am not a juggling monkey. My body/piercings are not for display upon your command. Ask nicely and perhaps I will show you. Not all people have a problem showing off their piercings, but if it’s in an intimate spot you might want to ask nicely. Just because their new jewelry might be in a particularly risqué place does not mean public exhibition was the sole intent of the person getting piercing. You aren’t entitled to see anything.
And with that, I appreciate the friends that have ever come with me to get a new piercing. You guys are the best, but sometimes it’s fun to laugh at the silly things you say! Keep these things in mind next time you try and harass someone about their latest hardware addition, folks!