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A Little Lost

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I’m getting really sick and tired of myself. There’s nothing to drive me, nothing that interests me or I’m passionate about and it seems like everyone else at least has a basic idea of what they like. I’ve been in a state of permanent existential crisis for the last few years. I ended up failing some classes and landing myself on academic probation but it still hasn’t kicked me into gear It’s only my second year at UCR but already I feel like everything I’m doing is a huge waste of my time and I try to put myself out there but I always end up regretting it. How do I make the effort tolerable? How do I justify the amount of money I’m spending?  -A Little Lost

Dear A Little Lost, 
 
You noted that you’ve been in “a state of permanent existential crisis”. But the truth is, nothing is quite permanent, except for permanent marker, now that stuff is impossible to get rid of. Yes, you might feel hopeless right now, but that won’t last forever, emotions are as fleeting as time. And nothing you do should be regarded as a waste of time. If you feel that you’re taking classes that are of no interest to you, then switch out of them and take ones that you feel passionate about. It doesn’t matter if it’s not a “required” class, you’re here to learn about things that you want to learn about. If you need further assistance, you should talk to your academic advisor, who I’m sure would be more then willing to help.

And what is it that you love? If you don’t know the answer to that, it’s totally okay! We’re young, we’re not supposed to know. I mean even when you get older you probably still won’t know, but that’s what life’s about. It’s about learning from our mistakes, dabbling in new things, and trying to make meaning out of things that we may deem as un-important. But regardless, it’s normal to be stuck in a rut, and I feel that the only way to get out of that state of mind is to start thinking positive. You also noted that you’ve regretted putting yourself out there. Why is that? If you’re not the sort of person to go out and join a bunch of clubs, that’s more then okay. We can’t all be social butterflies, that would be exhausting. I feel that in college we tend to live our lives by basing them around our friends, classmates, and even our family members. But just because everyone else seems to have some sort of drive or at least appear to have it all put together, doesn’t mean that’s necessarily true. Everyone is battling their own battle, and you shouldn’t compare your life to anyone else’s. And think of college this way, if you start taking classes that are of interest to you, all the money that you are spending should be seen as an investment for the future. 

We all need help sometimes, and I’m glad that you asked for it. I may not have been able to give you the answer to all of your questions, but I hope that by you being able to tell me about what you’re going through you have taken one step towards learning to love and accept yourself, even if you don’t know who that is quite yet. And if you need to vent about your feelings and frustrations, or simply just someone to talk to then you should check out the resources that our school has to offer below.  

Hoping You Find Your Way

& Always Stay Strong,

Annie


http://counseling.ucr.edu/Pages/default.aspx         
Tel: (951) 827-5531

The Counseling Center offers walk-in service for consultations. Same-day appointments are available in crisis situations. Counselors are available 24 hours a day by calling 951-827-5531 or 951-UCR-TALK.

Student Affairs Case Manager
951-827-9354
casemanagerDOS@ucr.edu

Assistant Vice Chancellor/Dean of Students
HUB 381
951-827-6095
deanofstudents@ucr.edu

Campus Health Center
Veitch Student Center
951-837-3031
Health@ucr.edu

24-Hour Hotline
After-hours, mental health therapists are available for crisis counseling and consultation by phone at 951-827-5531 (951-UCR-TALK or 2-TALK from campus phones), 24 hours daily.

http://well.ucr.edu/Pages/default.aspx                   
Tel: (951) 827-9355

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