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Learning To Put Yourself First

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UC Riverside chapter.

Breaking up is one of the hardest things we have to go through and accept in our lives. Whether you’ve been with someone for years or simply a few months, break ups not only show you the true nature of your significant other, but they also reveal your own true colors.

Many times when we get into relationships, we find it easy to get comfortable with the other person, sometimes overlooking (but not necessarily forgetting) all that we truly deserve. When this occurs, we find ourselves settling and eventually being taking for granted or misused. If your significant other is not uplifting you and adding positive sustenance to your life, it is time to reevaluate your situation.

Even if you were not told how special and beautiful you were as a child, I am here to tell you that you deserve the very best. You do not deserve to be with anyone that will cheat on you, neglect you, or fail to appreciate everything you do for them. Sometimes we link up with individuals that are merely not ready to fully commit and devote themselves in a relationship, and you have to be strong enough to recognize these signs and know when it is time to walk away. 

When dealing with breakups, it is extremely important to occupy your time. This is crucial because you are in a very vulnerable place and it can be extremely easy to fall back into a routine you are accustomed to. You must break out of your comfort zone, go out with old friends, and explore some hobbies or things that might interest you. There is nothing wrong with being sad, by all means cry it out for as long as you need to…but do not let yourself feel that this is the end. If anything this is the beginning to an entirely different chapter in your life– an even better one.

Aside from occupying your time, you must also get rid of anything that is going to cause you to reminiscence on the past. You were involved in a situation that has ran it’s course, and you must be careful not to mix the past and the present. It is also important to surround yourself with positive people and be extremely careful who you take advice from. Some of your friends may be secretly happy your relationship has ended, while others will truly support you and look after you during this time. Nevertheless, this time is all about you!  This is the time for you to get to know yourself better, recognize what you are willing to tolerate, and eventually grow into an even better person than you were before.

If you are dealing with a break up, my heart goes out to you because there is no pain that truly compares to heartbreak. However, I am here to let you know that it does get easier. He is not the only guy and she is not the only girl that will be able to make you feel loved. Now is the time to put yourself first and strategize the most effective ways to become a better you! You are the ultimate catch and if your significant other was too stupid to realize what he/she had, then that is their loss…not yours! Screw them.