Breakups are going to hurt no matter how they end. It can seem impossible to get yourself out of the rut that breakups cause. You can find yourself wallowing around and replaying every moment of the relationship. Left wondering where things went wrong. However, important to remember the reason(s) a relationship fails doesn’t just fall on one person, but the mistakes both people made during the relationship. Ultimately though, it’s important to get yourself out of the post-breakup mindset. Here are a few tips on how to do that.
Surround Yourself With Loved Ones. Loneliness is one of the biggest feelings you can experience after a breakup. Going from being in a constant relationship with someone to being single again is a sudden and shocking change. It’s important to surround yourself with friends and family who are going to support you, lift up your spirits. That’s not saying that having some alone time isn’t important either, but it’s easy to want to close yourself off from your loved ones who want to see you feel better probably as much as you do. Remember to let your loved ones in and let them help you.
Use Your Alone Time to Reflect. While you do want to make sure you are surrounded by your loved ones as much as possible, there are going to be times when you are alone. Instead of using this time to sulk in bed, use the alone time to seriously reflect on the relationship. Take the time to think about what you liked and didn’t like about it as a whole entity. Discover what qualities in your new ex that you might want to stay away from in future relationships. Learn how you can grow from the experience.
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Write Out How You’re Feeling. Breakups can bring up a mix of emotions: sadness, anger, regret, etc. It can be really hard to get past these emotions and it’s really easy to want to take them out on someone else. A great way to express your feelings (and sparing your loved ones from this wrath) is to pull a “To All the Boys I Loved Before” and write your ex a letter with everything you’d want to scream, yell or cry at them. You absolutely don’t need to send the letter, (you probably shouldn’t) but it helps get your feelings out in the open. As well as navigate a path to getting out of your head.
Rediscover Single-You. It’s easy to forget how you were when you were single after being in a relationship for a long time. You’re so used to doing things with another person that you now have more freedom in what you choose to do . Maybe there was a hobby you loved to do before you got into a relationship and decide it’s something that you want to rekindle your love for. Or maybe there’s something you’ve always wanted to try that you never got the chance to. Find your individual passions if they are lost or undiscovered.
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Remember to Smile. The post-breakup period is clearly not going to be the most fun and exciting time of your life, but it is a time in which you can reflect, grow, and learn. Find happiness in things you used to love, realign your priorities and take some “me time”, and heal. You WILL feel better again. Remember it will take time and the memories will hurt less as life goes on. It might not be immediate, but it is inevitable. So take deep breaths, take life one day at a time, and remember to smile at least once a day.