The holidays are a time to spend with your loved ones, listen to Mi Burrito Sabanero
on repeat, and eat your grandmother’s legendary arroz con leche. It’s a time to deck the halls, get a classic gel nail set in crimson red and watch The Godfather reruns. It’s for baking macadamia nut cookies to place on the dining table centerpiece, snacking on grapes from cups that aren’t yours and counting over the ball drop on the television set until the clock strikes 12.
However, did you notice that I said “loved ones” instead of saying “family”? Because I did so very intentionally. Lately, I’ve been seeing negative comments about the notion that “Friendsgiving” or “Friendsmas” is becoming more and more popular. And I’m here to say – WHO CARES? With the holidays near, I think it’s crucial to discuss the importance of keeping your nose out of other people’s business. What they decide to do and how they decide to celebrate is none of your personal concern.
(Photo courtesy of @BeauteSocialite via twitter.com)
So, yes. Maybe some people would rather not go home for the holidays. That is completely their right. Maybe some people don’t have a home to go to. Did you think about that? Some people aren’t accepted by their parents. Some people were kicked out. Some people would rather be somewhere where they don’t have to fight over politics with boomers who don’t feel the same about fundamental human rights. Some people have built up trauma that they haven’t worked through and would rather do so at another time. It is completely insensitive to try and make individuals feel bad for not being around their blood relatives this season or any season for that matter. Families are complicated and intricate and layered. And in some cases, a very toxic part of a person’s past.
The new generation has finally decided that sometimes blood is not as thick as molasses. Thankfully, sometimes you get to choose who your family is. So, if that means someone is participating in a Friendsgiving, a friendsmas, or whatever it may be, then so be it. Get with the times or get lost. People are not obligated to spend time where they don’t want to and/or where they don’t feel wanted. It is their life and they are entitled to choose where they want to be and who they want to be around for the holidays.
(Photo courtesy of someecards.com)
Who you decide to spend this season with is who YOU decide to spend it with. Others do not have to choose to do the same. You only have control over what you’re going to do; stop trying to tell others to do exactly the same. They have options to sort through which, in many cases, is a good thing! So, if no one has told you, especially with the holiday season fast approaching:
Mind the business that pays you.