I’m totally crushing on this guy in my club, and I’m not sure how to go about it. We just met before school ended, but we’ve been chatting a little here and there. The thing is, I feel like I’m totally falling for his personality, when nothing is literally/physically progressing. Seriously though, he’s like the ideal guy. He’s funny, smart, talented, sweet…everything and more, and we have so much in common. I just don’t want to come on too strong or end up pushing him away. Heeeelppppp!
-In too deep
Dear In too Deep,
Hang in there! Most of us have been in this situation, and it totally blows. You meet someone amazing and you might or might or not have a connection with them but regardless, you’re afraid to make a move. But don’t despair. Here are the things that I’ve learned from falling too hard, too fast and how to learn from them.
1) Don’t Let Your Fear Get In The Way
So you’re scared that you’ll come on too strong and scare him away. But don’t be! As long as you’re not stalking his every move or planning the five kids that he’s going to help you make, then by no means should he go running for the hills if you start expressing your interest in him. Never be ashamed of how you’re feeling, if anything, emotions are one of the most honest feelings that we have. So if you start to hint your crush on him and he starts freaking out, then he either only sees you as a friend or he’s not playing on the same team as you (if you know what I mean).
You’ve described him as the ideal guy so why not ask him out? Yes, I know it seems pretty daunting, but it doesn’t have to be something fancy. You’ve made it clear that you two are friends so ask him to lunch, or to do something casual so that you two get to know each other on a more intimate level.
3) Don’t Play Hard To Get
Yes, I know the “rules”. Don’t accept a date with a guy if it’s on the same day, so that you don’t appear “too available”. Wait for him to call/text you, blah, blah, blah. I’m not sure if I’m just really prone to disaster and awkward moments but every time that I’ve played hard to get, I’ve over done it. I end up pushing the guy away to an entire different continent. I would tell you to not play “too” hard to get, but that’s confusing and you’ll just end up sending him a bunch of mixed signals. Who was the genius that came up with that advise anyway? If you like him, then you need to let your true feelings/intentions be known. Guys can’t read minds, much to our dismay, and sometimes things that may be obvious to us aren’t to them. So the next time you see him be playful and flirtatious, all the while being yourself.
4) Do What Feels Right
The best advice that I can give you is to go with your gut and put yourself out there. He sounds like a really nice guy, and you’re obviously smitten. The worst that could happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way. And if that ends up to be the case then you’ll be able to move on without wondering “what if”.
Wishing you the best,
XOXO Annie
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