In 2018, threesomes rounded off PornHub’s top 10 searches. There are FFM threesomes (two females, one male), FMM (one female, two males), FFF (all female), and MMM (all male). In 2016, a survey of 196 college students revealed that 15% had threesomes and 49% knew someone that had a threesome. Of the 15% of students that had a threesome, 31% said they engaged in the threesome out of curiosity (and 21% said it was because they were “drunk or it just happened”).
Double penetration (DP) is a sexual act where a female-bodied person is penetrated vaginally and anally at the same time. PornHub found that women are 98% more likely than men to watch a DP video. While this article will focus on FMM threesomes that include DP, you can enjoy DP with a man, a toy, or two toys. Men do not have to be included to enjoy DP.
(photo via pexels.com)
In a study among women, there were general positive attitudes around MMF threesomes, but apprehension around MMF experiences with no male sexual interaction arose as, “connected to objectification, misogyny and danger.” In the past, there has been what scientists call the “one time rule of homosexuality,” or the idea that if a man identifies as heterosexual, one homosexual act “marks” the person as gay (p 33). The opposite does not apply for homosexual men, in that a single straight activity will not mark the person as heterosexual. Furthermore, it also does not apply to women. Research is indicating that this rule does not necessarily apply anymore, perhaps due to a general cultural acceptance of homosexuality and the proliferation of porn.
(photo via pexels.com)
30 self-identified straight men were interviewed in 2017 about threesomes, and 10 of them had participated in a threesome. Of these 10, 5 had participated in a MMF threesome. The two men were not having sex with each other but having sex with the woman at the same time which lead to incidental touching. Of the 20 men that did not report having threesomes, all said they would be interested in a FFM threesome. The remaining 14 of the 20 said that if they were willing to participate in a MMF threesome, but they would want the other to be a close male friend and not a stranger (38). Interestingly enough, when asked directly if they would find it difficult to watch their friend have an orgasm, none expressed distaste. In one instance, a participant described his experience with a MMF threesome that occurred at a party and the girl couldn’t decide who she wanted to have sex with so she had sex with them both.
So how do you DP?
In “The Guide to Getting it on,” author Paul Joannides details the experiences of a woman who had multiple experiences with DP. The first time, the women’s partners were scared to touch each other which she did not enjoy. The second time, the two men worked as a team and were able to focus on her, which she liked very much. The goal is mutual fun and pleasure.
(photo via pixabay.com)
You can prep by having vaginal sex while wearing a buttplug. Joannides notes that the reverse, having a toy in your vagina, can turn the dildo “into a missile and shooting across the room once her vaginal muscles start contracting.” Since you are putting things in your butt, you’re going to need lube, and take the proper precautions for anal sex. This is not a sexual activity for anal beginners. If you are using condoms, remember that if your partners will be switching sides, to not let anal bacteria into your vagina. This means stopping to take the time to put on a new condom whenever you switch.
In porn, the angles you see during a DP scene are often staged that way for the camera. In real life you need the room to explore what works best for you. You may prefer that only one man thrust, or both, but that’s the kind of logistical thing you can only figure out once you are in position. Physically, the tissue between the vagina and the rectum is very thin, which means it can tear easily so you need to be careful. Standing up and being carried between your partners? Having one partner on their back, you on top and the other partner standing over you?
Porn is not real life. It is a constructed and manufactured product. More often than not it is made for and according to the male gaze, and thus is not logistically practical. However, it is sexual imagery that you can take and make your own, that you can orchestrate with agency and pleasure.