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Ask Annie: Advice Column

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User Manager Student Contributor, University of California - Riverside
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Nicole Martinez Student Contributor, University of California - Riverside
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UC Riverside chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Here at HCUCR, we want to help you create the best college experience you can possibly have! Sometimes though, we all need a little advice. That’s why we are excited to welcome Annie an anonymous student that is here to help you with anything you may need. Feel free to ask her for advice on relationships, significant others, friends, crushes, roommates, that cutie down the hall, or anything else you want help with!


So my apartment-mate is dirty! Leaves things all over the place and has dishes in the sink for days! What do I do? -Done with this

Hey Done with this,

Living with other people is definitely an experience; dealing with them is another story.  Depending on your personality and your apartment-mates I would try dropping some hints, just kindly approach the situation and explain how certain things should be kept.  If the mess is open for public display try creating a rotation of duties. I would highly suggest you not to clean after her as it will only reinforce the idea that she doesn’t need to clean after herself and you aren’t her mother or maid.  If she slacks here and there, don’t fret, but if it is constant definitely try having “chore duties” such that every other day you two take turn washing dishes. Sometimes people need the push to get organized but you can’t overstep your boundary either. Respect goes hand in hand and in the end, open communication is the best route to choose. Wish you the best of luck.


I have trouble being affectionate and demonstrating my love to my boyfriend. I really want to change this but I don’t know how. What do you suggest?


Everything should be taken with baby steps. If you knowingly have trouble with displaying affection you cannot rush or force yourself into something that you are not comfortable with, it won’t feel right for you or your boyfriend.  Displaying affection and love is something that should blossom on its own, with time and with the growth of a relationship between the two of you.  Talk to your boyfriend and see how he feels because it could be possible that he is perfectly fine with what you are currently giving him.  If there does seem to be a clear lacking of adequate affection then both of you must work it out so you can find your comfort zone and what you believe is right in your relationship.  As you test out the waters, it may feel a bit weird, but you must remember that this is a process, whether it is your first boyfriend or a more serious relationship, you want to foster the right foundation to continue developing as an individual and as a couple. Remember to not to be afraid to voice what you feel.  The only way to move forward is to take the leap toward it.  


My roommate is jealous of my relationship with my boyfriend because her boyfriend treats her like trash. She makes it obvious by talking about me to other people in our hall and I’m ready to knock her out. What should I do? -Lover&Fighter

Before you go straight to the punches, you need to go straight to the source. Communication is key. Yes, she may be bitter and yes, her approach is completely wrong but maybe she needs help and a lending ear, or a simple friend. Although you should not be singled out for your relationship, it seems that this is more of an envious cry out for help.  The way I see it, she wants what you have. She wants the great relationship she sees with the boy she cares for. You cannot fix her problems or save her relationship, but you can take the time to talk instead of abruptly fighting fire with fire. You are fortunate enough to be in a great relationship with your boyfriend and maybe you can take the step forward with good intentions and open communication to foster a better relationship with your roommate.  Take this in stride with patience and willingness and hopefully this will just be a bump in the road.

 


Have a burning question that you’re dying to ask? Need Advice? Then submit your question to Annie and it’ll be featured on our blog! Ask away!!

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Nicole Martinez

UC Riverside

Nicole is a senior at UC Riverside where she is majoring in Media and Culture studies. She co-founded the Her Campus UC Riverside chapter her sophomore year in college. She loves to spend her free time watching The Mindy Project, Girls, Pretty Little Liars, and other shows with leading ladies. She also dabbles on tumblr, instagram (obviwearetheladies), and twitter. Mindy Kailing and Shoshanna are her spirit animals and in the near future she hopes to achieve elite status on Yelp, pursue a career in Public Relations and ultimately conquer the world.