Of course, it is always easy to get caught up thinking about all of the things you want, especially during the holidays. Most of us can end up more focused on making wish lists than planning what gifts we want to give to others. Even if you’re not dreaming up presents, the holidays bring with them a time of stress and reevaluation. People tend to feel bad if they don’t have everything they want, from a significant other to good final grades to money to spend on gifts or even time with family. Yet, the holidays should be a time for good spirits and gratefulness– as cheesy as it sounds, this mindset makes the holidays much more fun.
1. Replace “I Wish” with “I Have”
One seemingly easy habit to implement into your daily routine is to replace your desires with your gratitude. Instead of pining over things that are currently out of reach, adjust your focus to see what is already within your reach. What things, memories, people, etc. do you have in your life? How do they make your life better? What about them are you grateful for? Center your thoughts around that. There will always be something you are lucky to have. I’m not saying you aren’t allowed to complain ever, just refrain yourself from getting too caught up in your complaints. The world is not out to get you, you have to go get your own version of beauty out of the world. You could keep track of what you’re grateful for in a journal or just in your mind as you wake up every morning or go to sleep at night. Either way, being able to consistently think about your best friends, family, job, hobbies, school life, etc. in a positive light will help you fill your life with more gratitude.
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2. Embrace the Bad
When most people think of gratitude they automatically assume it means to be constantly happy about everything in your life, but this isn’t true. No one is going to be happy with everything all of the time and not everything that happens is going to be good. Having gratitude does not mean avoiding the negativity, but instead embracing it. Psychologists suggest that thinking back to a difficult time in your life can help motivate you to be more grateful for where you are now. Acknowledging your bad times will make them much easier to deal with than just straight out avoiding them of being in denial. By facing them head-on, you will get through them much faster and be able to see potential lessons and growth that the experience has given you.
3. Do Things for Others (without expectations)
This one is often said but usually lesser done. Doing simple acts of kindness is one of the easiest ways to increase your own personal happiness. Making others feel good automatically makes us feel good. Whether you pay for a friend’s coffee or volunteer with a local organization, connecting with others and uplifting them increases gratitude. Not only does it help advance relationships, but it can help cope with stress. The most important thing here is to do these little or big acts without any expectations of how you envision it going or wanting anything in return. You never need a reason to be a little extra nice to others. Even on the bad days, try giving a compliment to someone and watching their reaction might brighten your day. Having prominent connections that we care for can gives us even more to be thankful for.
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4. Thank Yourself
Having a habit of thanking others will always come in handy. Even more so, try to get used to thanking people more often than apologizing. Thank someone for waiting for you instead of apologizing for being late; of course, you can do both, it is just a more appreciative interaction if you focus on giving thanks (and better to not constantly being apologizing for yourself). Along with this, the most important person you should thank that you probably don’t already is: yourself. It seems weird at first to thank yourself when you’re in charge of yourself, but it is always nice to hear. You do so much for yourself from getting out of bed to making sure you eat to studying to picking yourself up on the bad days and more, you are the one driving your life. That will take a toll on anyone eventually if you focus on everything you should be doing instead of thanking yourself for everything you have accomplished already. Take the time, every now and then, to really appreciate you for taking care of yourself. When you finally finish a huge assignment, or get a good grade, or get the job you wanted, know that it wasn’t because of some luck it was because of you so thank yourself.
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5. Spread the Same Energy
The more you practice including gratitude into your life, the more you will be able to spread and encourage that in others. It can be hard, especially in college, to stop blaming everything around you for causing your life’s issues, but sometimes all it takes is a different perspective. If you have a way that works for you to be more thankful, don’t be afraid to tell others about it. It isn’t “uncool” to be optimistic and grateful about your life and it is definitely much better than being known as the classmate who over-complains about everything. Tell the people you love and even the people you just like how much they mean to you and what you appreciate about them. Even if they shrug it off, I guarantee you that they will remember it and shift their focus to be a bit more positive about themselves too.
Thanksgiving, despite having disagreeable origins, now is supposed to stand for giving thanks. It can serve as a good reminder to not let the holidays, or family issues, or seasonal depression, or anything else that comes up this time of year control your life. You will see that you have at least one thing to be grateful for so take the time to appreciate it, and once you start, don’t stop! Gratitude is not something to be practiced only one holiday out of the year. There is always something you have in your life to love and something coming to be excited for.