One of the most exciting aspects of studying at a new university is the opportunity to meet new people and find yourself a group of likeminded individuals. Here are 6 types of people you are guaranteed to meet. FYI, this is just a bit of light humour so please do not get offended!
- The ‘I have no overdraft because I have unlimited access to the Bank of Mum and Dad’
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Whether it is £20, £200 or £2000, they put it on their parents’ card no matter how much money it costs. This type of person boasts about how much money debt they are to their parents even though their parents do not expect them to ever pay it back. Their stories on Instagram and Snapchat are always them buying really expensive designer items, like Gucci, Valentino, Cartier and even those trainers which look like socks… I forget the name as I am way too broke to ever afford it. That is how you know they are wearing the real deal and not knockoffs from the market. At the club, rounds of drinks are ALWAYS on them. But be careful, are they doing all of this to be a good friend or to just show off all of their money, or should I say their parent’s money?
- The infamous fuckboy on campus
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Every girl on campus knows of him. She has seen him on Tinder, or knows a friend who has. He uses three different accounts at the same time just to maximise his matches to find hook ups. He is clear that he thinks that relationships are a waste of time and he is not looking for anything serious. He stops communication with girls after hooking up with them and will always come up with a fake excuse for his ghosting if confronted about it.
- The gap year storyteller that never shuts up
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Every conversation with this type of person somehow ends up with them telling the SAME stories about their gap year over and over again until you know the story word for word. ‘We skinny dipped in some lake, then when the police came, instead of arresting us they gave us a thumbs up and some beer.’ This is the kind of fabricated story this person shares for attention and to sound cool.
- The Oxbridge reject with an existential crisis
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Every day since their rejection, they contemplate what the point of going to university is if it isn’t even Oxbridge. This type of person has lost any real motivation to work and is ready to party hard any opportunity they get. Guaranteed to rock up to every Fresher’s club night drunk, and if they shed a tear, they will claim that they are super happy studying at UCL but secretly they still cannot come to terms with their Oxbridge rejection. All jokes aside, this person’s favourite thing to say is ‘Did I tell you I was rejected from Oxbridge?’
- The flyer person
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This person will give you all kinds of freebies like branded beauty products, pens (not always cheap ones; sometimes if you are really lucky, you’ll even get a Parker one), notebooks, water bottles, smoothies, sweets, and so on… But there is a catch! You will probably have to answer some questionnaire which will most definitely ask for your contact details… if you give your real details, trust me: you will receive so much spam mail in your inbox it is unreal.
- The Ghost
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You will have to question whether you really saw this person, or whether they are some kind of ghost or hallucination. But this person probably has better things to do with their time than socialise, like watching Netflix, duh!
Have you met any of these 6 types of people yet? If the answer to my question is no it is probably a sign that you have been ghosting a bit too much!