As Valentine’s Day approaches, couples plan cute dates and single people plan Netflix binges.
But you are not exactly sure what to do. You have gone on a few dates with the same guy, and the two of you have plans to see each other again in the upcoming weeks. This means that you will eventually have to address Valentine’s Day. But who does it first? You aren’t a couple, but you aren’t just pals. Do you let ‘The Day’ go by without mentioning it? That seems weird. However, it would also be weird to bring it up. In our heads, the conversation would probably go something like this:
“Hey, are we doing anything for Valentine’s Day?”
“Why would we? I just met you. Bye, Crazy.”
The classic advice for any awkward situation is always to talk it out, but the panic about bringing up anything romantic too soon is real. It can kind of seem like acknowledging Valentine’s Day makes a casual thing into an official relationship because of the couple-connotations of the day. If Valentine’s Day is mostly a couples’ only sort of day to you, then you’ll only want to bring it up if you’re trying to make this person your romantic partner. On the otherhand, if it’s just a day for chocolate related things, you’ll want to let the other person know that. Otherwise, they might think you’re trying to communicate something that you’re not even thinking about. If you don’t want to ignore the holiday but you don’t want to make it into a whole thing, maybe suggest going out on the 13th or the 15th – Valentinesque Days. Even if you decide to go out on ‘The Day’, a casual date on Valentine’s Day means you guys are probably still going to stay casual. However, if you have been nonchalantly seeing each other for a few weeks and then decide to purposefully make this day special, it will definitely change the tone of your “thing”.
There is definitely a potential for embarrassment in bringing it up. The other person may not be interested in doing cutesy things with you yet or they may not be into Valentine’s day at all. To deal with potential embarrassment, talk about it but be cool. Say something along the lines of: “Hello fellow human. Would you like to engage in mutually pleasurable behavior on Cupid’s Birthday to reinforce our deep and lasting feelings for one another?” That’s sure to make things less awkward!
Of course, all of this assumes that you want to do something for Valentine’s Day. Maybe you don’t! If that’s the case and your man does, your only option is to make plans to go out of town on the 14th. There is no nice way to say, “I don’t want to do Valentine’s Day with you” in a way that doesn’t also say “I can’t wait until we can stop going out to dinner before we bang.” Just get train tickets to your state’s capital or visit a friend in a different city, simply stating that you’ve had them since before the two of you met.
Whatever you do, remember to grit your teeth and bear it – the awkwardness will pass, making room for fresh, future awkwardness for a plethora of other reasons.
Happy Valentine’s Day!