Over the past couple of months, Tik Tok has seen a rise in popularity of the so-called “that girl” — the girl who everyone yearns to be. “That girl” wakes up early, goes for a morning jog, maintains a healthy diet and does well in school. She has everything under control as she can maintain school, friends and a healthy lifestyle. “That girl” never has a hair out of place. She is living a life straight out of a Pinterest board.
As I started my first few weeks of college, I sought out to emulate this person who seemingly has everything together. There are so many components to this social media phenomenon that I broke up my approach into 2 steps: getting into the mindset and consistency
The first step was to think like “that girl.” Once she sets her mind on something, she’s dedicated to doing her very best. She is always looking towards self improvement so I described who I wanted to be in hopes of achieving self improvement as well. I wanted to be more organized, look put together and be healthier. Now, I had to put the work behind this mindset so I started off by making my bed and cleaning my desk at the end of the day.
These are small tasks that require little to no effort but provide evidence to myself that I was moving towards becoming “that girl.” Before this, I never made my bed nor cleaned up my desk so as a result, my mind felt cluttered. My desk was so messy, with the pile of papers falling off the desk every other second, that even my parents and sister saw it as a problem. It felt like I was swept away by the long day and didn’t have any agency. I was just going through the motions.
As soon as I started these little habits, I felt much more relaxed as I didn’t need a lot more time to clean my room or desk, since I could now minimize each task by taking it day by day. This helped me cross one or two less things off my already long to do list. It helps me feel ready for the day ahead.
With this newfound motivation, I was more willing to implement more habits to my list. I slowly started picking out my outfit for the new day and meal prepping. These habits got me closer to the ‘that girl’ lifestyle because I gradually developed the proper mindset with small habits. We often jump into a large habit, especially for our New Year’s Resolutions, but these resolutions never gain any traction because we burn out. The number of gym memberships sign-ups spike in January, but slowly decrease over the next few months. People are eager to say that they started working out during the new year, but they don’t have a slow transition into this new habit. With newfound motivation, they jump right into it and don’t gradually incorporate working out into their schedule. Habits don’t work at the flip of a switch.
Once we have established our habits, they won’t stick unless we consistently do them. That is why I utilized a habit tracker. There are many different apps, but most of them require subscriptions if you want to use all of their features. I’ve found Habit Tracker by Davetech Co., which is simple and completely free. I am the type of person who gains satisfaction from ticking off a box and seeing an entire list crossed off. Every time I completed a habit, I got to cross it off on my habit tracker app which prompted a rewarding ding! from my phone.
Here is where the second step, consistency, comes in. There are times where I was too busy to make my bed or clean the table, which is completely fine! Just try your best to pick up the habit the very next day. Even with countless plans, life still manages to upend things and there is nothing we can do about that. Whenever I didn’t receive a ding! from my habit tracker app, I just made sure that I completed the habit the next day and began the streak again.
Some people argue the trend is toxic due to the large emphasis on productivity and consumerism. They say the trend focuses on optimizing one’s day to its fullest extent and will not allow anytime to relax and live in the moment, with concerns of burnout. In addition, Pinterest boards illustrating this trend portray an apartment full of scented candles, fluffy rugs, expensive athletic wear and matcha lattes have caused some concern for the people who believe buying these things would make one’s life seemingly more aesthetic. I agree that some influencers and Pinterest boards have perpetuated the materialistic and productivity-obsessed side of this trend. However, you don’t have to avoid this trend because of these issues. You can seek inspiration and don’t necessarily have to take these inspirations by heart. We’ve seen many versions and interpretations of this trend such as being a “Heather,” which was inspired by Conan Gray’s song “Heather.” The song is about a girl that everyone wants to be or be with, including the protagonist’s love interest. You aren’t confined to the materialistic side or even the “Heather” side of this trend. We can take inspiration from it to improve ourselves and our lives. Social media has allowed everyone to take part in these trends and with more people involved, everyone has their own interpretations and viewpoints.
A healthier, more inclusive approach to improving your life is to take baby steps and to be more forgiving to yourself. This self-compassion is not giving yourself an excuse to not carry out your set habits, but rather providing motivation and inspiration for self-improvement.