And here we are again: the first Monday in May. The first Monday in May; the biggest party of the year. The first Monday in May where the upper-echelon class of society get together in designer dresses and suits and eat dinner together (I think? I have no idea what happens at the Met gala.) The Met Gala is actually a pretty elitist and problematic event when you think about it, but who am I to decline the offer of seeing all of my celebrity crushes absolutely fitted?
The theme this year was “The Gilded Age”. They announced the theme a few weeks ago, and at first I didn’t really know what to make of it. After a quick Google search and some research, I learned that the “Gilded Age” apparel would most likely consist of Marie Antoinnette recreations, and some Bridgerton moments. Unfortunately, this prediction turned out to be wrong.
The following list will be rated on a number of things: overall, if it fits with the theme, and how much I personally liked it. Let’s get started!
Kendall Jenner
To begin, the one and only: Kendall Jenner.
Kendall, you always kill it. Between the bleached brows, the dark curly hair and the see through top, you have outdone yourself. I know that it doesn’t necessarily fit with the theme, but what can I say? I am a Kendall Jenner apologist.
How much it fits the theme: Like two out of ten. I’m sorry, Kendall. The flowers in the top have a little bit of a gilded vibe but that’s about it.
How much I personally like it: Ten! Tens all around!
Overall: Probably a five. I do unfortunately have to stick with the average.
Jack Harlow
Next up: Jack Harlow
Jack, I am supremely disappointed in your performance on this fine Monday night. NOT only was your outfit not on theme, but it also just did not look good. Brown is not your color, and the suit didn’t fit you very well. Disappointed and surprised.
How much it fits the theme: Zero. Do better, Jack.
How much I personally like it: Maybe a five? I’m biased, I love Jack Harlow.
Overall: I think probably a three. Jack, I do expect better from you.
Billie Eilish
And now: Billie Eilish
I am not Billie’s biggest fan. I haven’t loved her sound since she released WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO, and her music is just not my personal cup of tea. I can definitely acknowledge that she’s talented, but it’s not really my thing. Of the twoMets that she’s been to, she has done the theme perfectly. Her 2021 recreation of Marilyn Monroe’s iconic look was perfect for the “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion”, and her jaw-dropping corset was super on brand for the gilded age.
How much it fits the theme: Nine! I don’t know what is keeping me from the last point, but I think a nine out of ten is good. It feels right.
How much I personally like it: Ok, sure, it’s not really my vibe, but she looks really good in it! I think the colors are really nice and I think it fits her really well. I’m gonna give it a eight!
Overall: I think that this look was my favorite in terms of the theme, but it wasn’t my personal favorite overall. For that, I give it a seven!
Kim Kardashian:
I’m gonna be honest, I love Kim. I think she’s really funny and I really admire the way she carries herself. Between being a mom and working on passing the bar exam, I actually have a lot of respect for her. Her Met outfit in September was probably one of my favorite Met looks ever. Not only did she get to do some PR for her,then,husband, Kanye West and his new album, but she also stayed within the theme. However, this year, I think that her use of Marilyn’s iconic dress and the lengths that she went to in order to use it were a little bit questionable. I’m not thrilled about her decision to lose twenty pounds in two weeks just to fit in a dress, I think that that adds to a ton of the harmful narratives about toxic diet culture and disordered eating. I also don’t really think that the dress even fits in with the theme? Marilyn Monroe was an American icon and actress, but unfortunately, she wasn’t super popular during the Gilded Age.
How much it fits the theme: The dress was gold and intricate, so I’ll award it two points for that. Unfortunately, those are the only points I can allow.
How much I personally like it: Despite my distaste for the efforts gone to in order to wear the dress, it is a very pretty dress. For that I give it a five.
Overall: Overall, I’m gonna give this Met look a four. I’m sorry, Kim.
Regé-Jean Page:
A quick disclaimer, I love this man. I am definitely biased.
Ever since his debut in Bridgerton, Regé-Jean Page has never failed to amaze me. Not only is he stunning, but he also seems to have a sense of humanity that I find to be little of in today’s popular culture. I don’t have any evidence for that, I just got a vibe. Anyway, he looked amazing this year and I think that even though his suit wasn’t super loud and flashy, it was very elegant and captured the theme pretty well. The deep blue and velvet and intricate sparkly piping was super nice, and I think it was a good way to approach the theme from a minimalist perspective.
How much it fits the theme: I give it an eight! It was elegant and subtle but still captured the eccentric essence of the gilded age.
How much I personally like it: Nine! Nines all around! I withhold one point because I think if he added a few Cartier rings, it would’ve put it over the top.
Overall: He gets a nine! I love you, Regé-Jean Page.
Kylie Jenner:
Kylie, this was terrible. Why do you look like you’re about to get married? And what’s with the off-white? And it doesn’t even approach the theme!
How much it fits the theme: Zero. Goodbye.
How much I personally like it: Maybe a one. Maybe. I like the ruffles.
Overall: Point five! Good night!
Gemma Chan
Gemma Chan, I love you. I do. This outfit was certainly something! It doesn’t really scream ‘Gilded Age’ to me, but you looked beautiful regardless. I think the leather on the jacket is a bit distracting from the theme. We didn’t see much leather during the Gilded Age. The sparkles and the skirt, however, are reminiscent of the way that dresses were shaped during the time as well as the eccentricities within the dresses. The hair was also really nice, the slicked to the side gentle waves really complimented her face frame and let the dress shine.
How much it fits the theme: I think I’m gonna give Gemma a five. The leather is just not my favorite.
How much I personally like it: This is definitely not my favorite look, but she looks absolutely beautiful, so she gets a seven!
Overall: Gemma, today I’m gonna give you a 6. Keep being sexy!
Evan Mock:
My roommate is very in love with Mr. Evan Mock, and I never really saw it until he showed up in this outfit. The pink hair! The cut of the suit! The painted nails! Absolutely stunning. I love it. His second Met, and he absolutely delivered.
How much it fits the theme: A solid 8! I think the cut of the suit is what got me. If this had been a traditional suit, it would’ve been far too boring. But the corset-adjacent top is very reminiscent of the gilded age, and his pink hair and painted nails really brings a nice touch of modernity to it.
How much I personally like it: TEN! I am not holding back this time.
Overall: A nine! He did splendidly. He passes the test.
Emma Chamberlain
And finally, my queen. Miss Emma Chamberlain.
Like the rest of the internet, I love Emma. I think she’s relatable and funny and raw, even in the constant shadow of the limelight. I feel similarly about her outfit that I do Evan’s. It was subtle and elegant, and it flattered her beautifully and still fit the theme. I saw a tweet that said imagine if Tucker, formerly known as the popular artist Role Model, showed up in Evan’s outfit alongside Emma. I think I would’ve died. Anyway, the hair and the jewels and the colors and the makeup! Do not even get me started about her makeup. Normally, I hate beige tones with bright white, but this was executed so well.
How much it fits the theme: Nine! I think it could’ve done with a few more glittery details.
How much I personally like it: Ten. Emma, you never disappoint.
Overall: A nine point five for you tonight, Emma. I love you.
I know a lot of people didn’t love this year’s Met and were disappointed by it. I know I was pretty bummed when neither Taylor nor Timothée showed up, but the Met Gala is probably one of my favorite lookbooks of the year, so I tried to look on the bright side.
And also, mark my words, I will attend one day. And I will slay.