Every year, Valentine’s Day comes around and there is suddenly a big frenzy to celebrate the romantic relationships we have in our lives.
In more recent years, Galentine’s Day (February 13th) has gained popularity as a day set aside for women to celebrate their female friendships, but is this enough?
Valentine’s Day is one of my absolute favorite holidays, regardless of my relationship status. I love having any excuse to celebrate my friends and family, and at some point I realized that I did not actually need to wait for February to celebrate and nurture the love I have in my life. I can do that all year round! Here are five tips to help you do the same.
Find Out Their Love Language
The 5 Love Languages is a book that came out in 1992, written by Dr. Gary Chapman (his doctorate is in philosophy), that details the five different ways that people express their affection. Keep in mind that this is less scientific, and more of a fun way to learn something about the people in your life. The five love languages are Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts.
If you can figure out the love language of someone important in your life (your friend, your roommate, your parent, your partner), then you can show your affection for them in a way that may affect them more.
For example, I noticed that the way my mom showed affection for us (us being my family) was by making us food, or cleaning up after us. So instead of getting her gifts, I began doing the dishes for her and sweeping in the living room.
If you are interested in finding out your own love language you can do so here.
Reach out & Check In
In the age of quarantine, isolation, and the virtual world, it is no secret that it has become much harder to regularly talk with the people we care about. And sometimes, even when we do talk to them, it can be emotionally and mentally exhausting, especially if we have not had much social interaction for roughly two years.
However, reaching out periodically just to say “hi,” and to check in on each other’s mental well being, will do wonders to show that you care.
Set Aside the Time
In addition to reaching out and checking in, setting aside time to have fun with the people you care about, to focus on your relationship (whether it be platonic or romantic), will strengthen your bond and deepen your connection.
Setting aside this time could be something as simple as scheduling a weekly phone call or starting a Snapchat streak. If you have a bit more time to give, and your friends or loved ones do too, you could start a regularly scheduled Girls Nite, or Date Nite. Reach out to family members and try to get together for a game night or a family dinner.
It does not entirely matter what you do, as long as you are having fun together.
Take Stock of the Little Things
I cannot tell you how much it means to me when my friends, family members, or partner remember something I said in passing.
Being able to remember these seemingly innocuous details will help you create stronger, more meaningful relationships (and could even help you give your loved ones better gifts during birthdays and the holiday season). Some things to take note of would be their favorite colors, their favorite snacks, or one of their favorite musicians. There are a million little details that make up a person’s whole personality, and being able to grasp just a few of them can make your loved ones feel heard and seen.
Remember to Love Yourself, Too
I know that a majority of these tips have had to do with celebrating and caring for relationships with other people, but I’m a firm believer that Valentine’s Day, along with every day, is a day to care for and love yourself, too.
The act of caring for oneself will look a bit different to everybody; for some people it’ll be going to therapy, for others it’ll be taking a nap, for others it’ll be meditation, and still others it’ll be watching YouTube or reading a book. You can apply the love languages to yourself! The point is that in addition to caring for others, we must also take care of ourselves.
I would highly recommend keeping a journal, as writing can really deepen one’s relationship to oneself. College is a time where we are all growing and learning and figuring out not only who we are but who we want to be, and journaling can function as a way to talk to yourself as you get to know yourself better. I would also strongly recommend meditation; as someone who is almost chronically stressed, I’ve noticed a huge improvement in my own mental health. I’m not surprised by this, as a TK study from 2012 showed that meditation practices have an effect on activity levels in the brain in non-meditative states — specifically on the amygdala, which is the portion of the brain responsible for emotions, including depression and anxiety.
Taking the time to care for yourself improves your mental health, and thus your physical health as well.
***
While Galentine’s Day and Valentine’s Day are undoubtedly fun days of celebration, finding ways to celebrate your relationships throughout the year can create stronger bonds and improve your mental wellbeing. Do not wait for February 14th, start celebrating love now!