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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UC Berkeley chapter.

As someone who has never been in a relationship before, I find it hard to believe that anyone could be infatuated with me just for existing. I think even those who have been in relationships can relate. How can someone be loved just for their existence? Don’t you need to create a certain persona to be loved? Isn’t there some kind of standard for becoming lovable?

I think oftentimes, the world, and especially women, fall into this category of having to be someone else in order to feel enough and capable. And this isn’t a recent revelation; women have been seen as inferior since ages ago. 

The 1950’s suburban woman had strict guidelines: to become the perfect wife to her husband and then be the perfect mother for her kids. Every woman was expected to be obedient and nice in order to be worthy of a family and love. Society created this stereotype for women, and that era might have passed, but to some extent, women still feel the need to be a certain way in order to be loved.

Although this feeling is smaller and less concentrated in modern society, there are still nuances that appear when talking about the inner relations of a woman’s mind. “They won’t love me if I don’t talk much today,” or “They won’t love me if I’m not always in a good mood” are examples of how society has taught girls to never express their true emotions.

You don’t always have to be happy, and you most definitely don’t always have to look your best and be at your best to be deserving of love. Love is simple and unconditional. If the love you notice only comes under certain conditions, then the reevaluation of your definition of love may come into play because love has no conditions.

If you love, you should love with your whole heart. That’s the simplicity and the beauty of love. Many times, people mistake lust for love, indicating a false perception of reality and relationships. The perfect people for you will love you even when you are mad about a misunderstanding, and they will love you, even more, when you show them your true self. The perfect people understand, and the perfect people will endlessly support you through your ups and downs. 

Melody Lui

UC Berkeley '25

A freshman traversing the waves of the world and trying to make it her own. Leisurely walks around campus and experiencing concerts are the few things keeping her from departing across the world and starting a new life.