As a little girl I dreamed about the first time I would lock eyes with my soulmate. Would it be across a heated bar? After bumping heads in a bookstore? Jumping to the same song at a party?
Never did I think this fantasized eye contact would be as my thumb swiped right across his face and onto the next.
Though I have yet to meet my own soulmate, when I watched my cousin take her engagement photos with a man she met on shaadi.com, I realized the probability of connecting through an online service is becoming more and more probable. Whether you’re moving to a new city or just trying to spice up your life, dating apps always find their way into circulation as an outlet for meeting new people.
Despite their integration into the norm of the dating world, the negative impacts of apps like Tinder stray me away from conforming to their power. Other than the general safety aspect of online dating for female college students, the perpetuation of “hook-up culture” may be the app’s most dangerous attribute.
A healthy and active sex life has been proven beneficial for increased well-being and overall mental health. However, hook-up culture, or meeting someone just for the sake of intimacy, is damaging to the female psyche.
Though hooking up does help open the conversation about previously taboo topics, the culture around it is what creates a damaging environment, especially on college campuses. The “they are doing it so I have to” mentality emerges and those who feel more comfortable in a relationship scenario are pushed into a world where romance is diminished and even mocked.
The need for non-committal intimacy is contradictory in the words themselves and has further been perpetuated by a certain side of the feminist movement who believe this emotionless interaction is empowering. But by denying their agency, hooking up can raise insecurities and emotional damage which is less empowering than being with someone because you want to and not just because you can.
The best way to combat this is to not follow the herd. If you are on Tinder, Bumble, or any of the myriad of available apps, ensure you are confident in who you are and what you want.
It is okay to look for romance in a digital sea full of non-committal fish. You can want that flame. You can say no. You can also look for more because you deserve that.