“When I get sad, I stop being sad and decide to be awesome instead.”
Barney Stinson
I usually ignore the feelings in my gut telling me that I’m more sad some days that others, because it’s easier to ignore them than to face them; at this point in life I’m a little too busy to get ‘lost in my feels’ to use the common term. But I’ve also noticed that some people seem to bring out the negativity in those that are around them. Some people are a little too in touch with their emotions. It’s completely fine to know how you feel, as long as you’re prepared to do what you can to change the negative emotions you have attached to what you feel.
And you’ll be able to tell when people can’t handle their emotions because they will get sad at the worst moments. When someone constantly gets sad when alcohol is involved–there is a problem. If you find your friends are constantly sad, but even worse when alcohol is involved, what are you supposed to do? How can you have a conversation with someone about a problem that you don’t even know if they have?
I’ve tried. I’ve tried reaching out and saying that if you can’t be happy sober drinking alcohol is only going to make that worse. But sometimes the person is too far away from what they are doing to themselves and they will not listen. You need to be able to step back and pull yourself away from the situation. If someone is unhealthy for you to be around it is completely fair for you to not be around them.
And at this stage in life it is nearly impossible to tell someone that you think they need to change a behavior that they are doing. You’re too young to know what’s good for you, let alone to make decisions about what is good for someone else. This is good advice to remember one for when you are trying to communicate to others, and two for when others try to communicate with you.
At this moment, and in these four years at undergrad you are finally completely alone. Your morals will be up in the air, and your actions may not always represent who you want to be as a person. You can’t try to control anyone but yourself and your own emotions. It’s important to remember that–people will only accept help when they admit to themselves that they need help.
Sometimes you have to let people figure out what they need to feel happier by themselves because otherwise you’ll end up drowning in your feels with them instead of wading around with your head above water.