Our parents tend to serve as our role models, offering guidance and largely shaping our morals, opinions, experiences, and identity. We want to meet their expectations and make them proud. Yet, how do we transition from being dependent on our parents to being independent and ready to take on the world?
One of the hardest things I’ve found about college is finding that balance between dependence and independence. I do my laundry, schedule my week, stay on top of deadlines, take out my trash, restock my mini fridge, and so much more. But I also want my parents to give me their opinions and advice, help me edit papers, hear about my day and friends, and share my excitement in moments of pride or achievement. The difficulty seems to stem from the overlap between my desires, values, and choices and my simultaneous hope to fulfill my parents’ expectations and values.
Even writing this, I still have yet to find the perfect balance between the two. I want to be able to make my own mistakes and learn from them, yet I also want my parents’ guidance to avoid making too detrimental of mistakes.
I don’t think there’s an easy answer, and it might not even be possible to always satisfy both. However, finding a middle ground in which neither party is largely unhappy is key.