“You’re pretty, but you’d be a lot prettier with straight hair”— a phrase that not even all my fingers and toes could equate to how many times it’s been directed at me.
Ever since I learned how to run a comb through my curls, I hated them. Of course, it didn’t make it easier that most of my peers seemed to prefer my hair when it was straightened. Despite the adults who told me how beautiful my unique locks were or how much I would cherish them when I got older, I never believed them. I wondered why all the girls on TV who looked like me would straighten their curls if nothing was wrong with them.
How could something so beautiful be changed— hidden? The only conclusion I could come to as a 10-year-old adolescent was that it wasn’t beautiful, and I was being lied to for the sake of my feelings.
My earliest memory of this statement was made by my third grade crush. I cried when my friend told me how he felt about my hair. Imagine waking up extra early to ensure your hair dried nicely for that specific day, just for it to mean nothing. I prepared for weeks to tell him, even practicing what I might say with my friend.
My last ounce of confidence in my curls now decimated because of an 11 word sentence — 48 letters. This was all it took for me to start hiding my curly hair by any means possible. As soon as I learned how to straighten my hair, I continued doing it every day to conceal what I believed to be my worst feature.
How could something so beautiful be changed— hidden?
After years of heat damage and a new generation of mainstream media, I began seeing more curly girls coming out with similar experiences. Unfortunately, by this time, I was going into high school, so I had already done a number on my hair.
Growing up in a predominantly white area, I had never met anyone who empathized with me during my pre-teen years, so even when I wanted to revert and experiment with my natural curls, I felt confined to what I knew best: the flat iron.
Even though it took time, I eventually started learning to appreciate my curly hair, thanks to the rise in diverse media representation. I also realized that those adults weren’t lying to me; curly hair is unique, so unique that there are hundreds of patterns, textures, and styles— all of which are beautiful, including mine. I now know that curly hair was never my worst feature. In fact, it’s always been my best– and I bet it’s yours too!