If you ask my dad what his most difficult night as a parent was, he would say it was the night I cried a whole ocean about joining a Buddhist church. My fourth grade self was scared, having no idea what religion was. I was afraid of being alone in a room with kids who grew up going to church since they were infants. I was afraid of looking stupid; I didn’t know Buddhist culture or practices.
The night before my first Sunday service, all the fears I’d piled up spilled in the form of tears. With every tear I cried, a little weight was released, but even then, the weight of my fears was too strong to let go. However, the next day at service, I found myself chuckling with everyone at the one-man skit the reverend had created. He reenacted a child seeing something cool through a bullet train window, but when he tried to get his dad to look, it was too late. From this message, we learned about impermanence and the importance of appreciating the present moment.
Flash forward to move-in day, Aug. 16, 2023. I thought I was bound to break into tears because of how close I am to my parents. Insecurities boiled up in my mind. I was afraid of not being smart enough to keep up in class or outgoing enough to make new friends. How could I ever live on my own? I felt that I had been embarrassingly dependent on my parents.
I was afraid of not being smart enough to keep up in class or outgoing enough to make new friends.
Thankfully, I ended up with the sweetest roommates and we met many people during Golden Bear Orientation. We went to karaoke together, explored San Francisco, and talked and laughed for hours. I couldn’t be more grateful for the new community I’m a part of and for the new friends I’ve made.
Looking back on move-in day, I had an overabundance of worries. To be more specific, I had an overabundance of worries about things that had yet to happen. I thought I had to be on the speeding bullet train. I thought I had to know everything.
However, the girl who thought she’d sob when her parents left, found herself beaming with joy. There have been nights in college that I wish never had to end. However, the night doesn’t last forever, just like the fears I faced before coming to Berkeley.
I still have much to learn about being a college student, but I know that I can take my time and breathe. I already have great friends and I’m excited for the memories I’ll make with them. I’m excited for the cool experiences I’ll have with clubs and in classes.
I won’t let freshman year go by like the scenery outside of a bullet train. I’ll make sure to appreciate my time here.