BOO! Did I scare you? No? How about if I told you that the Chinese government is prosecuting and terrorizing Uighur Muslims, sending them to concentration camps? On that note, let’s talk about the three scariest parts of Halloween.
1- Looking at your midterm grade: You made the quintessential college mistake of setting academic tasks for future-you instead of present-you, the latter partaking in exuberant activities. However, future-you remains an amorphous entity, always being subjected to idealistic tasks that will never come to fruition. Consequently, your midterm that takes place the few days after Halloween is one unprepared for, a subject of great despair. You look at your midterm grade and realize the extent of your past mistakes. You promise to change. You promise next time will be different. You’ll actually study. But the scariest part is — you know that’s not true and will never be true.
2- Getting ghosted: You’ve been seeing Alex for a few weeks, your relationship best described as a situationship at most. You’re excited to see him and go out during the Halloween season. You send a text, romantically depicted as “yo whaddup”. However, as minutes, hours, and eventual days pass, you realize Alex will not be replying with his catch phrase, “haha yo b”. He will not be texting you back at all. It’s official: in the time of spooky spirits, you too have been the subject of a ghost.
3- Realizing your mortality: You’ve been on this Earth for 20-something Halloweens. During this Halloween season, amidst the galore of frights and tricks, you feel melancholy wash over you. With all the ubiquitous talk of ghouls and skeletons, your mind has drifted to a more morbid thought process. Life is fleeting. Your soul will soon leave your body as you decay into nothingness (aside from maggot mulch). Everything in your life has been void of meaning. Everything has been for naught. You will die one day, oblivion overtaking your essence.
On that optimistic note, Halloween is known for its tricks and treats. Explore your dark side this Halloween and treat yourself to a nice, healthy spook! Happy Halloween!