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#relationshipgoals vs. #teamsingle: Say No to Hashtags This Valentine’s Day

A trend right now is #relationshipgoals. We are all guilty of saying it, thinking it, and commenting it. The tag is most commonly seen slathered all over the feed of power couples, specifically Instagram-dominating Jay Alvarrez and Alexis Ren.

I admit, they’re aesthetically pleasing. Their lives seem like paradise. They model, travel to exotic places, are in love, and all the while are being paid. However, we have to remind ourselves that we see only what they want us to see. Everything is centered on perception. Very few of us, if any, will actually obtain what Jay and Alexis have. In fact, the only way they can live the way they do is through us: their audience and loyal fans who are unintentionally fueling them. Jay and Alexis currently have a total Instagram following of 7.5 million, resulting in sponsorship deals and a plethora of business and travel opportunities.

Many times, the “relationship goals” we lust after are surface-level, material things. We want cute photos with our significant other, their perfectly toned bodies, or lavish gifts. I stare at a photo of a couple and the comments are overflowing with the hashtag. What is it that prompts us to think “relationship goals”? Is it that they’re both attractive and fashionable? Or is it that we want to portray ourselves to others in the same way that would elicit envy? Or are we just in love with the idea of being in love? 

Having a relationship as a goal is a problem itself. There’s a plan for us all that contains the timeline of our love life. If your love life is nonexistent at the moment, that doesn’t mean it’ll stay that way forever and vice versa. We are still young and we have so much more to look forward to than being loved or wanted by someone. At the end of the day, our ultimate goal should be receiving our diploma and obtaining our desired careers. Anything else can take a back seat.

Perhaps the root of the issue is that we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others, trying to see if we measure up and concluding that we must be doing something wrong if we don’t have what others have. Social media conditions us to think in a way in which we analyze what we don’t have with a magnifying glass and forget to appreciate what we do have. When we are surrounded by all these seemingly “perfect” relationships, we develop high expectations and unrealistic ideals. We will end up always wanting and expecting more, never satisfied with what we are blessed with if we are always caught up in the business of others.  Instead of idolizing others, we should be sculpting our own goals without influence from others.

Real relationship goals can’t be cropped into an Instagram square and smeared all over with a filter. They can’t be captured on camera; they are internal qualities in people that can’t be solidified or recorded. Your relationship goal should be finding someone who has all the right characteristics that will make you two a perfect fit. The greatest love story that will ever exist will always be our own. If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, yours is still yet to be written.

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