Turkey dump.
Dumpsgiving.
There are many ways to describe this time of the year. Tis’ the season of long-distance relationships coming to an end and high school sweethearts saying farewell. Even my parents are aware of the second significance of this time of year (the first being giving thanks). Before I left home for my first year at UBC with the hopes of my long-distance relationship lasting, my parents warned me, “Just wait until Dumpsgiving. It won’t last past then.” Despite my parent’s pessimistic forewarning, my long-distance relationship has officially made it past not only one Dumpsgiving, but three!
Although Thanksgiving has now come and past, maintaining a long-distance relationship doesn’t suddenly become any easier. With that said, maintaining your long-distance relationship doesn’t necessarily have to be that hard either. Based on my experiences in the past two years of my long-distance relationship, I have complied a list of the top 5 tips that I have found the most helpful for keeping my relationship happy and healthy through Turkey Dump season and beyond.
1. Stay Positive
Sounds pretty simple, but it is one of the most important things for keeping your long-distance relationship going strong. People go on and on about how hard long-distance relationships are, how they never work out, and how it is outrageous that anyone would consider being in one during university. But if your relationship makes you happy and you think it can last, don’t let the naysayers get you down! Stay confident and believe in your choice. Keeping a good attitude helps you enjoy the great times in your relationship and helps you push through the tougher times.
2. That Technology Though
Google Hangouts and Skype have become my favourite resources since coming to university. During most nights of the week, I find time to video-chat with my long-distance partner and it makes a world of a difference in our relationship. Being able to see each other face-to-face makes us feel closer together even though we are far apart! If possible, make time in your schedule for a regular video-chat session even if it is only a quick five-minute chat. Texting and talking on the phone, although great resources that I also use, can only get you so far. Video-chatting, in my opinion, is the closest feeling to actually being together.
3. Always Have Something to Look Forward To
The most exciting part of long-distance is finally getting to see your loved one again! During the school year and summer, me and my partner plan out dates that work for us to meet up. Even if our schedules keep us apart for longer than we want, knowing that we have set a date to see each other keeps us positive. Whenever I’m really missing my partner, I think about how amazing it’ll be once we are reunited again.
4. Make Time for Yourself
Make sure your long-distance relationship doesn’t take up your whole life! Although my partner is an important aspect of my life, I don’t allow my relationship to stop me from getting out and experiencing new things. Because me and my partner give each other space when we need it, I don’t feel restrained or weighed down from my relationship. Don’t let your relationship start to feel like extra baggage!
5. Trust
This may be an obvious tip, but like number 1, it is one of the most important. Don’t let jealousy get the best of your relationship. When I first started my long-distance relationship, I had to learn to accept the fact that being far apart meant I wouldn’t always know who my partner was with. I learned to take a step back, to stop worrying, and to trust that my partner was there for my relationship. Believing in my partner has kept my relationship running smoothly and happily, and believing in your partner can keep your relationship going strong, too.
This list by no means covers everything that has pushed my long-distance relationship past three Dumpsgivings, but I couldn’t have the relationship I do today without these 5 key elements. I hope that this article provides a glimmer of hope in the sea of skeptical looks you get when people find out you’re in a long-distance relationship. Together we can prove everyone wrong and make it past Turkey Dump season and beyond!